Break Me, Shake Me
by DaggersBloodPain
Summary: What would have happened if Harry Potter had been broken by the muggles around him? Would things still be the same if he came to Hogwarts with Social Anxiety Disorder? Take a look at this very different Harry and see how he copes with disability.
1. Tears of Pearls

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

**Summary:** What would have happened if Harry Potter had been broken by his relatives and other muggles around him? Would things still be the same if he came to Hogwarts with Social Anxiety Disorder? Take a look at this very different Harry and see how he copes with disability.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter or related characters, ideas, places, or spells. They all belong to the marvelous J. K. Rowling I am just playing with what she created.

**Warnings: **This story will deal with the affects of neglect and abuse on a child. He will be dealing with a very serious disability that is more common than most people wish to believe. Because of this disability if there is any pairings at all it will be very late in the story, and will probably be slash. I won't be sugar coating this so be prepared.

**A/N** This was not a planned story. I did not intend to write it, but I have been having a very tough time lately dealing with my disorder and I needed an outlet. For those of you who follow my other stories there has been hints of this disorder throughout them, but this is the first time I have tackled it head on. I know how to write this and I can do it well because I have struggled with S.A.D. for years. I don't know how often this will be updated but it will be finished.

**Chapter One  
Tears of Pearls**

Fear was clawing at him, his breathing wouldn't settle, his heart was beating wildly. It felt like he was drowning on thin air. Oxygen was not making it into his system and his eyes had black spots in front of them. He suddenly felt light headed and nearly hit the ground hard.

This Episode as he called them was not the first and wouldn't be the last. It was the last day of his primary school years. The other children were all laughing and playing. He had tried to join in despite their usual cold, almost hostile nature, but when he had gotten on a team at last and saw the three larger boys all heading in his direction at once, the football at his feet was forgotten and he was thrown into the Episode.

A ten year old boy should not know what a panic attack was, but this small boy with jet black hair and emerald eyes knew them intimately. This one was a bit more severe then normal but he had been having them on an ever increasing frequency as he got older. It was not uncommon for this boy, Harry Potter, to have two or three 'mini Episodes' a day.

The boys had by now all encroached on him. They were bigger then him and crowded him in. He felt trapped amidst their bulk. He was frozen in place by his fear and the only outward indication of the attack was the deer in the headlights look he had in his eyes. The boys caught up in the game missed the look in his eyes and plowed into his unmoving form knocking him to his knees and he didn't have the control to get back up right away.

He felt a hand grab his arm and began to panic and thrash. He struggled to get away from what he thought was an attacker. He pulled so hard against the hand he was sure he would have some bruises as reminders.

"Potter! Potter! Get a grip we are not going to hurt you. You need to see the nurse." Harry barely registered the voice, he only caught the fact it was female and kind of familiar suggesting she was in his class.

He stopped pulling on the arm but by now the other kids had come to see the spectacle and again he felt trapped in by their closeness. Forcing his voice to work he stuttered out, "I'mmm okkayy, I cccan gett ttthere myssself."

Struggling to his feet he carefully picked his way through the crowd, touching no one and avoiding the more congested points. Behind his back he heard several comments about, "Freak," and "Crybaby." He didn't show his hurt at the names, but he did wish he wasn't so different.

He didn't go to the nurse, he knew there was next to nothing she could do now that the Episode was over. The rest was up to him, to steady his breathing and get the fear back under control. He went to his usual haunt. The school library had two bookshelves relatively close to each other full of reference books. He could sit between those two shelves and be made nearly invisible to anyone else that came into the library. He just sat there cross legged staying out of the way of everyone else. He would occasionally pick up one of the books on the shelves and start to read. He had managed to read quite a few of them during his long stays in the library.

The librarian noticed the dark haired little boy enter her domain on a daily bases, but did nothing but watch him. She had seen his kind before and knew the best thing she could do was stay in the background, making sure he was ok, but generally not interfering. Children like him just needed that safe place to go, and she thought her library was one of the better safe places, especially when the students actually picked up the books.

She knew this was her last day watching over him. It saddened her a little to come into work and not see him sitting there, quietly reading, or just staring at a spot on the floor lost in thought. She wanted to do something, or say something to help him along, but she had no idea what to say to him.

Harry while not being completely oblivious to her observations, he was unaware of just how deep her turmoil was. He had never had anyone that cared before, why would anyone start now?

His life at the Dursley's was a living nightmare. He was hurt and dehumanized at every turn,. There was no escaping it. His only names to them were 'boy' or 'freak' and he dealt with those names at school too. People had hurt him so much, and his classmates had ignored him for so long, the nager he once held had turned to fear. He hated it when too many people got close. It didn't matter how many there were, or even if he knew them and liked them. If they crowded too close, or heaven forbid touched him, he had an 'Episode.' He remembered the first one he had, it was about three years ago and he had been getting ready to go home for Christmas break when a group of older kids shoved him out of their way in their hurry to reach home. The amount of kids and the violent touch sent him over the edge.

He thought he was dieing at the time. When he survived and went home to yelling and screaming for being late, and locked into his cupboard without food, he knew whatever happened wasn't deadly. He had hoped that was a one time deal. Unfortunately he couldn't be that lucky, they had come back and had gotten stronger and fiercer. He could now tell the difference between one of his true panic attacks and the mini Episodes that while annoying didn't really affect him enough for them to be outwardly noticeable.

He hoped with time, and the fact he would not be in school with his grossly fat cousin, he might be able to get better in the future. As time wore on though and things continued to worsen instead of improve his childish mind began to believe he would never heal, never get better.

He felt hopeless, absolutely and completely hopeless, and he hated it.

A/N well there you have it. I will get more in depth into the why and how of the disorder as I go on. Remember I am telling this from the mind of a ten year old there are things about the disorder even he doesn't understand yet. My readers will find out more about it as he does, and no he doesn't know exactly what it is yet. He calls them Episodes because he doesn't know they are panic attacks.

Oh and because I know I am going to get reviews on his stuttering. The reason it doesn't follow a natural stutter pattern is because it is not a natural stutter, he is just frightened. When I have a panic attack I can't really pronounce t's and s's very well or any word with a double letter. I have a friend who was born with a stutter and it works differently.


	2. Animal Song

**Chapter Two**

**Animal Song **

**A/N **I know I am supposed to update my other stories, but trust me I am really not in the right mood for my truly fictional stories. I need this one, it is my therapy.

Harry thought summer vacation was his salvation. He only had one source of distress to deal with, but this year was different. Of all years for him to go on one of Dudley's famous birthday trips, it had to be the one to the zoo! The one place Harry really wanted to see, but was terrified of actually going.

There was going to be sooo many people there. The crowds were going to be tremendous, as it was a beautiful summer weekend. He had enough trouble going to the super market with Aunt Petunia on Tuesday evenings. This was easily going to overwhelm him, and he knew it for a fact.

Yet he wanted to go there, to do something normal and fun, see the animals and get to act like a kid. It was torture to his young mind to want something that bad, and not be able to enjoy it. He was already on the edge of panic and they were not even there yet! Just being in the car listening to his Uncle ranting and having Piers and Dudley poking his sides was driving him towards a mini episode.

He took a deep breath and just stared out of the window trying to ignore everyone and everything in the car. It was because of this he didn't hear Uncle Vernon's rant about motorcycles, which in turn meant he didn't reveal his dream and get yelled at. He had reached a kind of equilibrium with his relatives. They treated him coldly and neglected him horribly, but they had not laid a hand on him in years, not for hatred and definitely not for love.

He had spent his whole life not knowing love. It pained him to know of the existence of something so pure, and so easy to take for granted, that he just didn't understand. It wasn't even that he couldn't love or didn't want to, he just didn't know how.

There was one other thing he didn't know how to do, but it did not pain him nearly as much as not being able to love, but that was mainly to do with his age. The thing he couldn't do anymore was trust. When you are a child you take trusting what is said around you to heart, without acknowledging the fact even grown ups don't know everything. He was too young to notice that he DIDN'T do that. He never took anything said to him at face value and was constantly looking for the catch even if their wasn't one.

There trip to the zoo started out ok. The lady in the ice cream truck was nice, but her voice was soft enough she let him relax a bit before he had to brace himself for the crowds. They were just as bad as he thought they were going to be.

Kids shoved him as they walked past. Adults hurried after them with haggard apologies. People were running and jumping, horse playing and roughhousing. Pretty much everything children did when they were out for the day surrounded by other children. Harry just stayed in Uncle Vernon's enormous shadow. He would rather remain half hidden behind the one who hated him than get caught up in the rush of people.

The animals were all interesting. Harry watched them move and interact with the others in the cages. He loved watching the big cats with their graceful movements and prideful attitudes. The wolves with their family groups and obvious intelligence. Plus the sly foxes that played and pounced on each other in a youthful display of energy. Every creature there had a place and purpose, family and responsibility. They had a home even if it was only a cage. Harry recognized he was in a cage, but his cage could never be called a home, it just wasn't one.

Going for lunch was difficult. The tiny zoo restaurant was packed with people. Harry just shrunk in as small as he could make himself and avoiding saying anything to anyone. Harry only got food because Dudley wasn't happy with his and the Dursleys bought him another. Harry was given the first.

The sugar was not a good idea. All it did was make him jumpier. So a little later in the reptile house when Dudley pushed him away from the window after his nice conversation with the boa he was thrown into an Episode. His eyes were closed when the glass disappeared. The only reason he knew something had happened was because the cold blunt head of the snake bumped gently into his leg.

The snake hissed, "Thanksss amigo, be strong young one," Before it slithered off. Harry's only thought through his Episode was he hoped the snake made it to Brazil.

While Aunt Petunia talked to the zoo manager about the disappearing glass and nephew eating snakes, Harry was left to come out of his Episode alone. When he saw the rage on his uncle's face however he was pretty sure he was better off in the oblivion inducing panic.

He was pulled roughly through the crowds and shoved in the car by his uncle while Aunt Petunia doted on Dudley and Piers. Harry couldn't stop his shaking from the tight hold, or the flinching whenever Uncle Vernon pulled him so close he accidentally touched anyone. He had long gotten over thoughts of someone coming in and rescuing him. He was actually kind of looking forward to his dark, cozy, cupboard there was no people there after all, and people meant pain.

He knew enough about the world of abuse and neglect to know he had it easy compared to others. The adults were too busy saving the ones in mortal peril to worry about him, whose only problem was a lack of affection. Yes it was criminal neglect, and bordering on abusive, but it was not the worst. He was old enough to understand this but yet still so young he didn't know there was anything out there that could help him.

After all to help him would take a miracle, or maybe a little magic, and miracles and magic didn't exist right?

A/N there you go chapter two. This will not have a regular updating schedule because it is not a regular story. Don't expect chapters to come on a schedule the only thing I can promise is that wont happen.


	3. Crash and Burn

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

**A/N** Again, yet another new chapter when I should be updating my other stories, but I really and truly need this. It is getting so hard to deal with it. I could lose everything to this. My sanity, my life, or even the person I love with all my heart. The only thing I know that might help me heal is this story so I am going to write it and for those of you reading my other ones I am sorry you are just going to have to wait.

**Chapter Three**

**Crash and Burn**

Harry was shivering with cold as he lay on the rough wooden floor of the little hut being rocked by the storm raging outside. Sleep was impossible, he just laid awake watching his birthday tick close by watching the lighted dial on his cousin's watch.

Their current arrangements were all his fault. Well his and the mysterious joker that kept following them around trying to deliver letters to him of all people. He knew he never got letters from anyone, nor had he done anything bad enough for someone to want to chastise him that badly. He had momentarily entertained the wild thought of being rescued but that would be impossible wouldn't it?

He sighed as he curled further into himself trying to get warm under the thin raggedy blanket he had so graciously been given by his relatives. He counted himself lucky to even have that blanket and he knew better than to ask for a different one, this one would be taken away without a replacement.

A loud booming knock on the door made his heart nearly stop right before he hyperventilated. He couldn't move from his spot as the door to the hut was ripped from the hinges. He saw a bright flash of light emit from the wrecked door, but it was not the color of lightning.

The person that walked into the hut was sheathed in deep dark robes, and held what appeared to be a medium sized stick in his hand. Harry locked eyes with the stranger for two seconds, and he saw a flash of recognition in hard black eyes.

Their eye contact was broken by Uncle Vernon coming out of the other room holding a rifle, Petunia hide in the shadows behind her husband. "I warn you I'm armed, get away from here!"

"Dursley, I am here to collect your nephew, Harry Potter. He does not belong in your world." The stranger nearly snarled at Vernon and Harry felt his panic rise as he struggled to keep himself from having a full blown Episode.

"You want that Freak! Fine, take him, but do not touch my son you filthy freak!" Vernon yelled at the stranger his face going almost puce with rage.

"Freak? So it is as bad as Dumbledore thought. You have nothing to worry about muggle I wouldn't touch your son. Now tell me why you seem to shelter your pig of a son, while you are willing to send your nephew off with a complete stranger without so much as an introduction." The stranger spoke with cold distain, like the Dursleys were beneath his notice.

The gun in Vernon's hands discharged in his rage at being spoken to in such a manner. The bullet sped towards the stranger, who just raised his wand and whispered something beneath his breath that Harry couldn't hear, and the bullet fell to the ground just inches from the stranger's chest as if it had struck a solid barrier. Harry couldn't stop his eyes from widening at the sight.

"I wouldn't advise trying that again, you will regret it. Come Potter, we are leaving." The man's voice was stern with the promise of retribution and there was no kindness sparred in his command to Harry.

Harry was so frightened he didn't know what to do. This was a complete stranger who just showed up out of the blue, he was the epitome of Harry's worse nightmare, yet he also offered that slightly suididal hope of refuge.

Hauling himself off the floor and taking the two steps to stand in front of the strange man was the hardest thing Harry had ever done, and he had not led an easy life. He could feel himself hyperventilating again, he fought it down enough that while he still felt his heart racing and his lungs working harder, it was hard to tell from the outside. Something warned him this new person may not have bought it, but he did manage to get over to him.

He was not expecting the man to grab his shoulder tightly, followed by the weirdest sensation he had ever felt. Being touched by this man would have been enough to trigger an Episode, the odd sensation afterwards just made the situation worse. When he felt his feet hit solid ground again he collapsed.

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Severus Snape was not having a good time. Of all times for Hagrid to be injured by one of his 'pets' it had to be the day he was to physically go and retrieve Potter. Severus had been the only one left in the castle with nothing more important to do. He had been briefed by Dumbledore that his spy on Potter had reported some unusual behavior from the boy.

Apparating to their exact location was complicated a bit with the storm. It was such a small area of arrival, plus being a place Severus had never actually been there, apparition was risky but other means of travel had even more risks associated.

When he succeeded in finding the place he had not been expecting the first thing he saw to be Lily's bright green eyes looking at him. He had just enough time to notice the boy was nearly petrified by fear before he had a rifle pointed at him.

He dealt with the muggle in the best way he could. Dumbledore would be glad to know he had cast no curses or hexes at any of them. Although the shield he used was a borderline spell, he might be able to get away with it if he admitted it was the only shield he knew that could protect against a physical object.

He didn't know why the Dursleys blatant disregard for their nephew bothered him so much. He had been all set to hate the boy after all. Yet, he couldn't just let that muggle call the boy a freak. By the look on the boy's face it hadn't been the first time he was called that.

He was agitated by Harry's obvious fear of him. He was a teacher for crying out loud. He may mentally traumatize students but he had never hurt any of them. He was not expecting the boy to collapse after the apparition. Taking the boy's vitals proved he was hyperventilating. Potter was also sweating profusely.

Now Severus was stuck by a conundrum, why would a ten year old boy be showing all the signs of a panic attack? He had only touched his shoulder and he hadn't even yelled at the oy yet. What had scared him so badly.

A/N You may be getting sick of the constant 'Harry has to suppress another Episode' situation, but don't forget I am writing the story from my own experience and I really can get panic attacks that strong and that often. If something triggers me just right even a small thing can send me into an attack.


	4. To the Moon and Back

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

**A/N **This story keeps getting more and more attention as I update. This tells me I managed to hit a nerve with this story. If any of my readers feel comfortable enough to talk to me and would like to see something added to this story dealing with the disorder please contact me. I know my case was unusual so I am always open to suggestions from others dealing with it too.

KEY: Ok I mention some phobias in this story as well and I will tell you what they mean here. I Googled the spellings if they are wrong I'm sorry.

Claustrophobia:Fear of small or enclosed places

Agoraphobia:Fear of leaving a safe place

Acrophobia: Fear of heights

Achluophobia: Fear of darkness

Arachnophobia:Fear of arachnids, spiders

**Chapter Four**

**To The Moon And Back**

Severus had apparated them to the courtyard behind the Leaky Cauldron hoping to avoid the pub altogether, but when his charge collapsed to the ground he wasn't left with much of a choice. Picking up the slight child was simple, but he soon found himself in a very unusual position.

The boy had wrapped his legs around him, his arms were locked around Severus' neck, and the tiny face was buried into the curve of his neck. Severus had never held a child in such a way before and felt distinctly awkward.

Carrying his small burden into the pub he quietly asked Tom for a private room. Taking the still out of it boy up to the designated room was only difficult in the fact he had an image to uphold and anyone seeing him taking care of this child would damage that hard won reputation.

When they were safely inside the room he deposited the boy on the bed and began to cast a few diagnosis spells at the boy trying to pin point the problem, beyond what he already assumed was a panic attack.

His findings were far from ideal. While the boy was in no immediate danger, and a moderate strength calming potion would have him back to consciousness he was showing some disturbing symptoms. It looked to Severus like this was not the first panic attack Potter had sustained. His heart was strained and his lungs were not as strong as they should be, a side effect of the near constant state of hyperventilation. His nervous system was not in top shape as he was in fight or flight mode continuously. The boy also showed some signs of undernourishment and weaker bones, a sign of long term neglect.

In other words the boy's body was in bad shape. Severus had seen similar problems before, but since most of the school went to Pomfrey for things like this he only had his Slytherins as patients. He had seen the affects of abuse and while their was definitely neglect in Potter's past, he wasn't showing some crucial factors for abuse. Their was no half healed injuries or any severe old wounds. He was thin but not emaciated. His symptoms were more like that of someone who was literally scared to death.

He knew of a few things that might cause that, severe Achluophobia or Agoraphobia, than there was things like Claustrophobia and Acrophobia, but he didn't think those last two were likely. There was too many phobias out there but those were the four most common next to Arachnophobia.

Sighing he decided the only way he might get some answers to his questions was to wake up Potter. He knew the attack wasn't deadly so he didn't feel bad for taking the time to think but if he left it go too long and Pomfrey found out the medi-witch would have his head.

He always kept a wizarding first aid supply of potions with him, and a calming drought was always included. Therefore obtaining the potion was much easier than actually administering it. He remembered it was his touch that helped push him into his attack. He wasn't sure he wanted to be that close to the boy when he woke up.

He settled for propping the boy up in the bed carefully, and administering the potion by stroking the boy's throat to get him to swallow. As soon as he was sure the boy wouldn't choke he backed away from the bed and waited for the calming drought to work.

If Severus wasn't a Slytherin he would have missed when Harry woke up. The boy hadn't moved a muscle or changed his breathing. The only thing that gave him away was that he became too still. He held his body stiffly knowing he was in a unknown room.

"I know you are awake," Severus told the boy, he would not play the boy's game.

"Where am I?" Harry asked, not realizing the calming potion had stopped him from stammering. He did realize he should be scared out of his mind being alone in a room with a stranger, and actually speaking to the stranger at that, yet something was blocking the fear. It was an odd feeling to know the fear was there but for it not to affect him.

"We are at the Leaky Cauldron in London." Severus answered the question.

"Who are you?" Harry asked a question he doubted he would have been able to without the fear being blocked.

"I am a professor at Hogwarts," Severus answered.

"I'm sorry but what is Hogwarts? I have never heard of it." Harry asked timidly.

Severus couldn't understand how the boy could still be afraid even with a calming potion, he must be worse off than he thought. Wait a minute the boy didn't know about Hogwarts!

"Your relatives didn't see fit to inform you of the school you would be attending? I wouldn't put it past them, filthy muggles the lot, but they at least told you what you are didn't they?" Severus asked hoping he would be granted some leniency. He so did not want to be the one introducing Potter to the real world.

"Yeah they told me what I am every day they told me," Here Severus nearly sighed in relief, "I'm a Freak." And there went the relief.

"Potter you are not a freak, you are a wizard, just like your parents were." He told him trying to keep a hold on his temper.

"My parents were wizards? I'm a wizard? That just can't be true. If they were magical they wouldn't have gotten killed in that car crash." Harry said almost to himself, but Severus heard.

"Car crash? Is that what you think killed them!" He was now outraged.

"That is what Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon always said. You mean they weren't? How did they die than? Or are they still alive and just didn't want me?" Harry asked pitifully, curling up into himself, and holding back tears.

Severus felt something deep within him. A kind of ache he hadn't felt in a long time. Not since the night he had lost everything. He looked up and saw Lily's eyes again and he couldn't not comfort him.

"They would never have left you if they were alive, they are gone Harry. They were killed in a wizarding war. A Dark Lord was rising to power killing and destroying everything he touched. Your parents were part of a group fighting against him. When you were born they went into hiding to try and protect you. They chose the wrong person to guard them and they were found. You were in the attack too and came out with nothing but a scar. The Dark Lord disappeared that night. You are famous for stopping him, they call you the Boy-Who-Lived. Every child in our world grew up knowing your name." Severus explained honestly. He did his best not to be too harsh but the boy had to know. The sooner he dealt with the grief the sooner he could move on and live.

Harry bowed his head and stopped trying to block the tears coming out. Not just in grief but also in a rising wave of fear. The professor had just told him he was famous. He knew what that meant. Everyone staring at you like an animal in a zoo. They would ask questions and pester him, some of them might even want to touch him. Both the fear and the grief was enough for him to drop his shields.

Severus couldn't do much as the boy broke down. He was not good at comforting people. This particular child was an even more complicated issue. He remembered another time, looking into identical green eyes.

XXXXXXXX Flashback XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The room was small but well furnished. Baby toys and clothes were neatly stacked and folded. Everything was in its place as the two people sat talking.

A woman with ruby red hair was sitting in a rocking chair holding her month old son in her arms. She was rocking gently as the boy was already asleep. She looked at him with all the love a mother could give and more. He was her angel, her everything, she couldn't imagine life without her baby.

The man sitting opposite to her was dark and brooding. He was awkward looking amongst all the soft pastels and childhood memories in the making. His discomfort was added to when the woman across from him stared straight at him with fiery emerald eyes.

She spoke, "Severus, you are my oldest and dearest friend. Without you I wouldn't have known magic until my letter came. You protected me in school, and don't try to deny it. I heard you tell off the other Slytherins in your own way. You were like the brother I never had. I need to ask you a favor, will you do it?" She quietly asked, she did not want to wake the sleeping infant.

"Lily, I would do anything you ask of me." He answered seriously, but ultimately unable to say the things he wanted to.

"Look after my son, Severus, I am afraid we won't make it through the war. James and I are too much of a temptation, but if Albus is right Harry will survive. He will need looking after. You are the only one I trust with this. The marauders are just not suited to the raising of children." She asked him, and he could see it was killing her to ask him, because to ask meant she was admitting she would most likely never see her baby grow up.

"What do I know of raising children Lily, why me?" He asked frightened at the very thought of the task.

"You would be able to raise him well. You have a softer side to you Severus Snape, and all your brush and bramble hiding it will just protect him all the more. To hurt him the world will have to get through you. You are the only one Severus, please do this for me." It was hard to see the proud woman nearly beg.

"I will do it Lily, I just hope you are right. I promise to look after your son and be there when he needs it." He gave in, he couldn't watch Lily beg anymore he would let her have her dignity.

"I know I am right." She said forcefully, still rocking the sleeping Harry.

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Now almost eleven years later, the baby in Lily's arms was sitting on the bed weeping and he remembered his promise.

"Lily I really hope you knew what you were doing," He whispered quietly.

He walked over to the bed and gently rubbed Harry's back and was surprised that though the boy flinched he accepted the touch after a moment.

"I will take care of you." He whispered to the boy.

"Why?" Harry choked out miserably.

"Because I promised," Severus admitted.

A/N I am leaving off there. I hope the transition was believable. I am going to use the promise he gave Lily as a way of giving Harry an anchor because trust me without one you do not last long.


	5. I Want You

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

**A/N **Here is the next chapter, and for those of you worried, no this is not my autobiography, this is Harry's story. The situation has to be tweaked because he is both male and younger than I was. A lot of it is what happened to me, but not everything. Also on the issue of Dumbledore bashing he won't be a complete villain but he will not be all sweetness and light either. All of my characters are going to have a balance to them in this story. I am not quite sure which side I want Harry on, it is too early to know yet.

**Chapter Five**

**I Want You**

"Harry, please tell me what you are so frightened of?" Severus asked his new charge trying to hold back the frustration in his voice. He had wanted to take Harry into the Alley and the boy nearly had another panic attack right then. For the life of him he just didn't understand.

"Too many people," Harry mumbled lowly his face pressed against Severus' robes.

"Is that what scares you so much, people? What scares you about them?" Severus asked as gently as he could.

"I don't like them getting too close, I feel like I can't breath, and I really don't like to be touched." Harry confessed slowly. His voice was low and hard to hear but Severus managed to hear him well enough.

"Does it matter how many people there are?" He asked.

"No, if they are close enough or bigger than me it can just be one person. It is a little harder to handle the more people there are." Harry felt a little better after finally telling someone what was wrong. He had a person that cared, even if he didn't quite understand why they cared he still did.

To Severus he narrowed down his list of possibilities. It sounded like the boy was suffering from more than one phobia. In someone as young as Harry that was rare without a deeper reason. He had his suspicions but he needed to get back to his library before he could confirm it.

For now he would just have to give the boy another calming drought and hope he got through the shopping trip alright.

This time Harry took the potion willingly, after being told what it was and reassured a few times. He just had this innate mistrust inside of him that reminded Severus forceably of a person raised on the edge of a society. The outcasts and vagrants who were constantly exposed to the harsh side of life. It was just wrong to see that expression on a child's face, especially this child.

"Alright, Harry we are going to get your things today. That calming drought should help you with your fears, but if things get too much tell me and we can get out of the rush for a little while. I am going to cast a spell on your clothes so you will fit in with the other children your age. I think you will be more comfortable if they are not looking at you funny right?" Severus decided to use the boy's first name, Merlin knows the boy needed to get used to hearing it after the names he was called by his relatives.

Harry just nodded in response. He could feel the emotion dampening affects of the potion, but he was still unsure of just how much the potion could do. This man, Professor Snape as he asked to be called, scared him slightly but not as much as the typical stranger. He had the oddest feeling he had met this man before but he was too little to remember.

Harry stuck to Severus' shadow the whole trip the same way he had done to Uncle Vernon at the zoo. Diagon Alley was beautiful and Harry was able to enjoy it more than he had the zoo. He knew his eyes had to be as wide as saucers but for the first time in a long time he didn't care. He was also trying to get used to the simple black wizarding robe Severus had dressed him in. It wasn't uncomfortable exactly just not the norm.

The bank was a lot of fun. The cart rides exhilarated him without scaring him which was a refreshing change of pace. He liked the Goblins. Despite their frightening exteriors just the fact they were not human caused Harry to relax and try and learn their rules of etiquette. It was easier for him to deal with an entirely new species than to deal with his own. He knew humans, their strengths and their faults every bloody one, but these Goblins were new he had no preconceived notions because just this morning he did not think they existed.

He liked what he saw, just the dynamic in the bank gave away clues to the race's survival. They were set up military style, and not a single one of the workers was female as far as he could tell. Each goblin had a rank and performed their duties according to the rank. Except the ranking system was unlike humans, with humans you would probably think the tellers were the higher ranking goblins but Harry could see otherwise. With the large emphasis on the actual gold the higher ranked goblins were the ones that drove the carts and were authorized to open the vaults, thus dealing directly with the gold rather than dealing solely with humans.

Severus watched Harry observe the Goblins and could see the connections being made in the young mind. He wouldn't admit it aloud but he was glad the boy appeared to have inherited Lily's mind not Potter's. James Potter would not think to notice the Goblins more than their jobs, it was Lily that would like to know how they lived.

"Come on Harry we have a lot to do, and that potion will only last a few hours at best." He was forced to say after sometime spent in the bank.

"Alright," Harry answered quietly sticking close to him once more as he was lead out into the busy Alley.

"Robes first," Severus said as he steered Harry into Madame Malkin's Robes For All Occasions.

Madame Malkin was a motherly witch with a heavy frame and a kind smile. She spoke to him in a kind voice, "Hogwarts dear? We have another boy getting measured as well." Harry smiled shyly and followed her to the back room.

Severus caught sight of the platinum hair and knew who it was immediately. "Hello Draco, where is your father at?" He asked while Harry was lead to a stool next to his godson.

"In one of the other shops. He finally let me do something alone, so who is this kid?" Draco asked.

"Draco this is Harry Potter, Harry this is my godson Draco." Severus introduced the two boys.

It was only by having the calming potion in his system that Harry was able to do it but he managed to say, "Nice to meet you," and he held out his hand to the other boy.

Draco glanced at Severus who nodded discretely before taking the outstretched hand, "Nice to meet you too Harry." He agreed.

"That's you done dear," Madame Malkin said to Harry soon after that.

He hoped down off the stool, payed for his robes and left with Severus with a quiet, "see you at school," to Draco.

Draco nodded in return but had to stay his fitting always took forever, as the Malfoy heir he had to have the best, but sometimes that was such a pain.

"He seems nice," Harry said quietly once the two of them had existed the shop.

"He can be, but I will warn you to be careful. He has been trained since he was young to be the perfect pureblood. I have yet to fully explain what that means to you, but the easiest way of saying it is that he is an aristocrat. He has been taught to make friendships based on the advantage to him. Draco could be a good friend to you, but never forget he is getting something out of it for himself." Severus warned. He loved his godson dearly but he was trying to be as honest as possible with Harry. The boy had enough issues with trust for him to complicate matters.

"Who would want to be friends with me?" Harry asked himself quietly. Severus was pretty sure he wasn't meant to hear the comment so he let it slide. The boy should be asking who wouldn't want him, but Severus had never been very good at reassuring angsting children.

They spent the rest of the shopping trip in silence. Harry only had to stop twice to catch his breath before they were off again.

It was when they were all done that Harry thought to ask, "Where am I staying? Do I have to go back to the Dursleys?" He asked resigned to the idea already.

"You will not be going back to the Dursleys. I am taking you to Hogwarts tonight. Headmaster Dumbledore will find a more suitable place for you to stay." Severus answered deciding to keep the fact it was Dumbledore that placed him at his relatives originally.

"Thank you." Harry said quietly.

"You do not have to thank me," Severus answered. 'But Dumbledore has a lot to answer for,' he thought.

A/N here is yet another chapter done. What do you think of it so far?


	6. Two Beds and a Coffee Machine

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

**A/N** well here is the next chapter. I know it is way late and a little short but it is finally here and you are reassured that I am not abandoning this story.

**Chapter Six**

**Two Beds and a Coffee Machine**

Harry could not contain his awe at finally seeing Hogwarts for the first time. The castle was the biggest building Harry had ever seen before, and it was stunningly gorgeous. Just walking up the path besides Severus was an awe-inspiring trip. It was at that moment that Harry felt the slight tingle of magic in the air, it felt like it was calling him home, and in a way it was.

He was beginning to get tired now. The calming draught was gone from his system to be replaced by this aching tiredness. He was almost always tired. The constant strain of fear on his system drained him of all the energy he had. It became hard to navigate the path and he stumbled a few times before his escort noticed his plight.

"I guess you must be pretty tired. It isn't too much further and we will find you some food and a warm bed alright? Just hang in there a little longer." Severus encouraged his exhausted charge.

Harry was able to nod his understanding and went back to the task of putting one foot in front of the other on the rocky path. Severus was beginning to realize that maybe they should have taken a different route but he had wanted to be the on with Harry when he first saw Hogwarts. He had not expected the boy to crash so thoroughly that quickly.

He let the boy struggle a bit more before picking up the pitifully thin boy in his arms and carried him the rest of the way. The small face buried in his neck with the frail arms and legs wrapped tightly around him. He debated with himself about where to bring Harry when he realize the boy was not going to be up for meeting anyone else for awhile, the boy was tired and strung out, and if Severus suspicions were correct adding more people to the mix was probably a bad idea.

His mind made up he carried the boy to his quarters in the dungeon. Most people would not like living in a cold drafty dungeon but Severus was not like most people. He liked the dark and quiet and he had a feeling Harry probably did too if all his issues sprung from being around people quiet was most likely the boys refuge. Plus a few heating and lighting charms made the dungeons just as warm and livable as the rest of the castle without all the hustle and bustle, it was in these situations that Severus really appreciated magic.

Once inside his quarters he placed Harry on the small but comfortable bed in the spare room of his quarters, a room that only existed because of Draco's rare visits.

He covered Harry up and than just watched the boy sleep. He remembered that night all those years ago when he made a promise to a desperate woman and couldn't help but think somewhere out there Lily was smiling down on them. He would make sure Harry was as safe as possible but the boy's true healing could only come from inside. The boy's fears had to hard to deal with. He had dealt with a similar case a long time ago, but he would have to confirm it.

Once he was sure Harry was deep asleep he slid back out of the room, putting a charm on the boy to tell him when he woke up, and left his quarters heading for the library. He wanted his suspicions confirmed or denied before he breathed a word of them to Dumbledore. The Headmaster need not know about this if it was only a small boy's fears that would soon be gone.

He found a thin volume tucked away on a back self. It was ragged and dusty looking as if it hadn't been touched since Severus himself had set it there going on twenty years ago.

Opening it up to the memorized page he reread the details and with growing finality he realized he had found what he was looking for. A disorder that explained both the phobias and the frequent panic attacks. Social Anxiety Disorder was the name he remembered from long ago.

He remembered the boy he had known who suffered from the disorder, though you could hardly tell it at this point in time. In the other he known it had developed slowly through their Hogwarts years and as it grew he had to learn to deal with the ever increasing symptoms. By the time they had graduated he was nearly paralyzed by fear, but had forced up a thick cold mask he used to hide behind. Few wanted close to this other boy and thus reduced his panic. He had since gotten better control, but he hadn't been able to shake the mask and never really tried to.

Harry was younger than his friend had been. He seemed to have the full-blown disorder at the age of eleven. Just how long had Harry been dealing with it? More importantly what had happened to trigger the disorder so early in him? The most frequent catalyst for the disorder is some kind of traumatic experience, or a long history of abuse and harassment. The simple fears one developed from these events somehow morphed into an all-consuming phobia that incapacitated the sufferer. In the harsher cases the victim might never be able to live a normal life, at least not without some form of therapy or medicinal assistance.

When he was in school with his friend they had begun the research on a potion that would be more effective at controlling the disease without the long term affect of too many calming draughts. The potion had never been finished as the war had broke out and his friend had learned how to deal with his fear. He knew it was time to uncover his old research. The boy in his care was going to need it.


	7. I Don't Know you Anymore

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

**A/N **I decided to put an unusual character in this story. I am going to have Professor Sinistra play a large part in the plot, but in this story I am making him a male. I believe it is a she in the books, but like in the case of Blaise she is such a minor character I think I can get away with making her male for the purpose of this story.

**Chapter Seven**

**I Don't Know You Anymore**

The next morning Harry woke up sunk into a soft mattress with warm covers pulled up to his chin. He had never had such luxury at the Dursleys, he knew something was wrong. He wiggled his way out from under the covers and shivered as his bare feet hit the cold floor. Sneaking to the door of the room he opened it a small margin. On the other side of the door was a sitting area where the man from the day before was stretched out on a couch with a book in one hand and several pieces of ink covered parchment under the other.

He hadn't dreamed up this world then. Yesterday had been real, and in this world something could stop him from being afraid. He felt a moment of elation before he squashed it, the man was just following orders the day before, he probably wouldn't waste his time giving him a potion he had lived so long without. In the back of his mind he remembered the man saying he would take care of him because his mother asked him to, but Harry didn't want to get his hopes up. He would listen to the man just like he had been taught, but he just knew the man would grow sick of him and cast him aside sooner or later.

Severus knew when Harry had woken up, he had set an alarm on the boy the night before, he decided to let the boy come out when he was ready. However, it did unnerve him a bit when the boy came to the door and just stood there. The boy didn't make a sound or move more than necessary. He had never been around a child capable of being that quiet and reserved, he did not like to think of how the boy became that quiet.

"Come on out Harry, it's alright." He finally called to the boy when he realized Harry was not going to come out on his own. "Are you hungry?" Severus asked as gently as he could and he got a small hesitant nod in return like Harry wasn't sure if he should answer honestly or not.

"We are going up to the dining hall for breakfast. The only people that will be there are the Professors staying the summer. Do you think you could handle being around five people if none of them touch you?" Severus questioned, already thinking about watering down another calming potion for him. If he kept them well watered down Harry could take them for longer before he became addicted but too much water and it wouldn't work.

Harry gave another slow hesitant nod, he actually wasn't sure if he could but that seemed to be the answer Severus was looking for. "Alright, your new things are outside the door to your room go ahead and change into your robes and we will head up." Severus ordered gently. Harry scrambled to follow the order despite its calm deliverance.

When the boy was ready five minutes later Severus lead him out of their quarters and up to the great hall. Harry found hiding behind Severus was a simple task do to the billowy nature of his robes. He wasn't accosted by any ghosts or portraits when he was blending in with the formidable professor.

Inside the Great hall the promised five people were seated at a long table, Harry saw an old man with an endless white beard, a tiny wizard not much taller than Harry himself, a severe looking woman with grey hair, a huge man with a wild black beard and a slim wizard with pitch black hair.

Seeing Harry's confused expression Severus pointed each Professor out and named them, "The old one is Headmaster Dumbledore, the small one is Professor Flitwik head of Ravenclaw house, the older woman is Professor McGonagall head of Gryffindor house, the large man is Hagrid our games keeper, and the black haired one is Professor Sinistra the Astronomy professor."

Harry nodded again and his lack of speech once again bothered Severus. He didn't say anything to the boy though as they were getting closer to the staff table and any speech would be overheard.

Severus made sure to place himself between the other professors and Harry so he could keep his word and not let them touch Harry. That got him some odd looks from the other Professors who were expecting him to try to get the boy as far away from him as possible not pull the boy closer. They watched with even more shocked looks when he began gently encouraging the boy to eat, no one was going to take it from him or punish him for doing so. They had never seen Severus so gentle with a child, that he was showing this side of himself to this child in particular was a sign of impending apocalypse.

The one closest to Severus, Sinistra, was watching the two with calculating eyes, he was even close enough to hear exactly what Severus was whispering to the boy. Apparently the boy had not had a very good life if Severus had to practically force feed him to overcome his fear of punishment. Sinistra was just a few years older than Severus so he hadn't taught him, but he had heard all the stories from their colleagues. He even remembered some of the crueler pranks pulled on the Slytherin by the Marauders. For someone like Severus to just forgive all that in less than twenty-four hours of knowing Harry than something very profound must have happened in those hours.

Ignoring the eyes on them Severus continued to coax Harry into eating a small breakfast. He had found the answer to the boys stature, his muggle relatives had punished him if he ate more than one meal a day, and he was forbidden breakfast because it was his job to cook it, serve it, cook more if needed, then wash up as his relatives got done if he was allowed to eat then he wouldn't be able to do his assigned duties.

Reigning in his temper was difficult when he realized just why Harry was so reluctant to eat, but he controlled it by focusing on getting both Harry and himself fed.


	8. Promises

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

**A/N** I KNOW SINISTRA IS A WOMAN IN THE BOOKS! I said last time that I was changing her gender for the purpose of this fic so please can I not get another review stating I mad a mistake when it was planned?

**Chapter Eight**

**Promises**

Severus needed to go to the library. His reference books just weren't enough to solve the problem of the potion. He had a dilemma on his hands how would he entertain a small very frightened boy and get research done at the same time?

Well one route was to simply ask him, "Harry I have to do some work in the library, would you like to come with me or stay with one of the other professors for awhile?" He inquired gently.

He saw Harry perk up a bit, "There is a library here?" He asked excitedly.

"Yes, do you like reading?" Severus was surprised at his reaction to knowing there was a library.

"Yes, back at my old school I would stay in the library to get away from my cousin for awhile. I liked reading the books when I was hiding." Harry answered with a bit of excitement in his voice.

"I'm sure we can find something that will interest you while I do some work." Severus assured him as he lead the way to the library.

Harry couldn't believe how many books there were at Hogwarts. Not even counting the restricted section there were more books here than four of Surrey's local library. Which Harry had only been to once. Severus quickly pointed out how the library was set up, because it was very different than what he was used to.

The books were not put in place by title or author. It was by subject and difficulty. The books on each subject were grouped together the harder the book the higher up it was on the bookcase. This was to prevent first or second years from accessing books for the sixth and seventh years.

Harry concentrated on the books on the lower shelves looking through them, trying to find something good. Finding a likely looking book he curled up in a chair at one of the tables and pulled the book close. Once he started reading he didn't stop for anything but turning the pages.

Severus watched him long enough to make sure he got around alright, and was surprised when he caught the title on the book Harry had picked. It was a beginner's book on potions techniques. It explained how and why things had to be chopped or diced a certain way. A very good read for any first year, several copies had been put in the library in the hopes that if the students were having trouble in class they might just look for a book that helped, but alas few students found it. They were too used to instant answers so actually looking something up that wasn't absolutely necessary was foreign to them. By the time they figured out to check for more information they didn't bother to look on the lower shelves.

Shrugging off his thoughts Severus got down to business. He had narrowed down which ingredients he needed, that was the easy part, the problem was they were extremely volatile. He had to figure out how to get them all into the cauldron without blowing up half of Hogwarts. It involved the kind of things Harry was currently reading about, the way an ingredient was prepared and when they entered the cauldron affected the properties of the ingredient. He also had to figure out which ingredients should be fresh or dried. This was the kind of puzzle he lived for, he loved potions, and this was almost as complicated as the Wolfsbane potion.

There would be no way he would be able to figure out the puzzle and brew the first batch before Harry had to face the rest of Hogwarts. Glancing back up at the boy he saw Harry focused on the book blocking out everything else, he had his small pink tongue clenched in his teeth as a habit, he was already a third of the way through the book. Severus found himself secretly hoping the boy would be in Ravenclaw, that house would be the safest for him and the calmest. He didn't think Hufflepuff would be bad for the boy, but he knew Harry just didn't have the trust needed for the house of badgers.

"Severus, are you alright?" He jumped slightly at the unexpected voice and looked up to see Adam Sinistra standing in front of him.

"Of course I'm alright, why wouldn't I?" Severus snapped recovering quickly from the startle.

"To words Harry Potter." Adam pointed out.

"What about the boy?" Severus asked ready to defend the young one.

"I don't want to hurt him Severus calm down. You are just acting a lot differently around him. What happened to him?" Adam sidestepped Severus' temper.

Severus looked back down at the table rubbing his temples to collect his thoughts, it might be a good idea to have more of Harry's professors aware of the problem so he answered. "I believe he has Social Anxiety Disorder."

"We have had student's with it before," Adam seemingly dismissed, but he was truly searching for more information.

"Not this badly, he is the worse case I have seen since my school days." Severus admitted.

"I am sure he will be alright, whatever you are bending over backwards to make for him should help, and you know the rest of us will keep an eye on him." Adam assured, noticing the abundance of ink smeared parchment and Potion's texts in front of Severus.

"I just don't know, he should be alright in the future, but it is now that I worry. He is going to have a rough time for the first few years." Severus informed.

"Have you spoken to Dumbledore yet?"

"No, I am not sure he should know about this. He has plans for him, well meaning I hope, but plans all the same. If he believes Harry can't fit into those plans I am afraid he will try and force the boy into something he isn't ready for." Severus murmured quietly.

"I would like to help him, and you, what can I do?" Adam offered.

"Just talking to him would help, start out easy though and do not corner him. He reacts to new people better if he is in an open area with plenty of room to run." Severus explained. He thought for a few minutes before adding, "He may not have had much chance to look at the stars when he was with his relatives, he might enjoy it."

"Well that I can easily do. Don't worry Severus I will help with your boy." Adam smirked before leaving a very steamed Potion's master in his wake.


	9. Universe

Break Me, Shake Me

DaggersBloodPain

Chapter Nine

Universe

Harry watched as the newly introduced professor Sinistra teased his guardian lightly over the top of his book. Harry narrowed his eyes at the sight, not really comfortable with anyone so close to Severus right now. It was a bit selfish of him, but he was still a child and he almost unconsciously craved the attention of his mentor on him. The other professor would have to earn the right to spend time with them in Harry's young mind.

After the strange teacher had left Harry returned his attention to the useful book and soon all thoughts of keeping Severus to himself were pushed aside in favor of the printed words. With only occasional glances upwards to make sure Severus hadn't left him the rest of the morning into afternoon passed in quiet contentment, lunch forgotten by both wizards.

Harry was startled from his reading by Severus' sudden intake of breath and brief sound of excitement. The man was running a quill so fast over his parchment sheet Harry nearly expected the notes to catch fire. Apparently the man had found something important. Not wanting to interrupt his work Harry just watched the man complete his notes before he put the quill down and stretched until the bones in his back cracked.

Severus finally looked around and found himself being stared down by bright emerald eyes. "Are you alright Harry?" He asked concerned that something was wrong with the boy and he was too shy to tell him.

"I'm fine, but did you find something? You looked excited with the last book." Harry commented quietly.

"I may have found a way to stabilize the potion that might help you, but it is a bit risky. You may need to stay with another professor for a few evenings as I fine tune it, I don't want you getting hurt if I make a mistake." Severus broke it to the boy gently. He decided not to mention that this would be an example of killing two birds with one stone, Severus got to make the potion without worry for his charge, and Harry got to have some interaction with other people something the boy needed.

"Who would take me?" Harry asked feeling his heart beat speed up at the thought of spending time with someone new.

"I don't know for sure which one yet, but it will be one of the Professors you met at breakfast." Severus reassured the boy he would not be left with a complete stranger. "It will not be for the whole night, just a few hours, and I will not leave you with someone that could hurt you intentionally or not."

"When would I have to go?" Harry asked frightfully.

"After dinner, I can ask which professor would like to have you during the meal. Which speaking of food we missed lunch in the great hall, come, we will go back to my chambers and order something from the kitchen." Severus explained, easily distracting the boy from his fear with thoughts of food to fill his empty stomach.

Harry followed Severus sedately through the halls of Hogwarts, he was taking in every twist and turn of the hallways already mapping his way around. It was a trick he had learned in the muggle world, the more he knew his surroundings the less he would have to look upwards and potentially draw attention to himself. He knew the hallways of his old school so well he never had to look up from his feet when going from class to class. Hogwarts was simply too large to really do the same thing but he could learn the main paths which would help him through the worst of the crowds. He was having trouble picturing the castle full of people with its huge expanse of hallways and the enormous Great Hall, he knew there was going to be more people at this school then he had ever been around before. Just the thought of that many people worried him.

Severus and Harry enjoyed a light lunch in their rooms because dinner wasn't really that far off, and settled in to read again. Severus going over every scribbled note he had taken for the thirtieth time and Harry fished out one of his new school books, Potions, Severus noted with pride.

The time passed smoothly in a comfortable silence as they continued their respective tasks. The looming separation the one thing both were trying to forget. They both comforted themselves by remembering it would only be for a few hours and would do a world of good for them.

Dinner time came around and with a deep breath they entered the hall, and took the same seats they had at breakfast.

"Ah Severus, Harry, I trust you had a productive day?" Dumbledore asked serenely with the twinkle blinding in his eyes.

Harry just nodded while Severus responded, "Yes it was a productive day, I think I have found the answer to a puzzle, but I don't want to experiment when Harry might be harmed. I was hoping one of you could watch over him for a few hours while I do some brewing?" Severus asked the whole table.

"I will take him tonight," Sinistra volunteered with a kind smile to the boy currently trying to make himself invisible.

Severus lent down and whispered in Harry's ear, "It's alright he won't harm you, take this if you think you will need it." He handed Harry a small vial of Calming Draught just enough to take the edge off.

The boy immediately gulped it down and was able to give Sinistra a small nod of consent.

"Do you like sunsets Harry?" Sinistra asked calmly.

"Yes," Harry squeaked out hesitantly.

"I teach Astronomy Harry, and the view from the tower is perfect for watching the sun set, we could go see that while Severus is busy?" He offered, giving the boy a semblance of choice.

"If you are sure it is alright," Even with the calming draught he was still hesitant.

"If I wasn't sure I wouldn't have asked." Sinistra assured.

When the time came to lead Harry away from Severus for the first time since they met it was not an easy parting. Harry's steps became shorter and slower and Severus didn't move from his spot until the boy was out of sight. Once Harry was in safe hands Severus immediately started brewing, the sooner he was done the quicker he could retrieve his ward.

Sinistra just kept a running commentary on the places and classrooms they were passing, unknowingly adding to Harry's mental map of Hogwarts. Sinistra made sure he was close enough to keep the boy safe but not so close he crowded him. Hogwarts had a few skittish children in every year, it wasn't too far of a stretch to take care of Harry, he just had to remember the things that triggered the other shy students and amplify them to understand Harry.

Harry could not suppress the look of awe on his face when they finally reached the astronomy tower, the sun was not quite ready to set yet, and therefore the view of the Hogwarts grounds was brightly lit with the rich golden hue of a tired out sun. The lake was a sea of molten amber, the forbidden forest had a deceptive halo of light, and the hills protecting the castle were shadowed protectors. It was a magnificent sight.

"Harry, this is the tallest tower at Hogwarts, the only place you can see the entire way around the castle without obstructions. The view is even better on moonlit nights. From this place every student of Hogwarts can look out and hold the universe in the palm of their hands. Most students who come through Hogwarts don't truly appreciate the purpose of looking at the sky, or the beauty of a star. There is no spell casting in my class, or mysterious elixirs that can cheat death, only the stars and moon. Yet those same students seem to forget ritual spell casting and the harder potions are affected by the moon and stars. Divination may be an awkward subject for most, but there are true seers such as centaurs and very rare humans, they can read the stars and have never been proven wrong." Sinistra stopped there as he realized he had just lost Harry with the unfamiliar magic terms.

"Harry, you can ask questions if you want to know more," He encouraged gently.

Harry looked like he wasn't going to say anything, but curiosity won out over fear this time with help from the potion. "What is Divination? Centaurs are real, are they really half human and half horse?"

"First of all yes centaurs are real, there are a number of creatures from muggle myths that really do exist in the wizarding world. They are like the myths describe them physically, they are strong and wise, but prefer to be left alone. They are natural seers with a gift for star gazing, and if they chose to give a prophecy to a human it is always in riddle form. Divination is the practice of predicting the future. Real Seers are extremely rare, but they do exist and its better not to cross them, a Seer is a most often a witch, but they have the ability to see things that can not be seen by normal eyes." Sinistra explained to the curious boy.

"Do all Seers use the stars?" Harry asked hesitantly.

"No, the stars are a mystery very few can read, some use dreams or crystals of different weights and colors. The more powerful seers have some measure of control over what they see, and the future is not the only thing Seers have been known to see." Sinistra was deliberately encouraging the boy's curiosity.

"What other things?" Harry fell for the bait.

"Some can see the present time, but in a different place, they can use it to check on family and friends that are in trouble or an enemy they are gaining information on. There are a few who can sense a person's aura through color or temperature, this gives the seers knowledge of a person's mindset and therefore their potential to cause harm in the future. Some can communicate with the dead, with either sight or sound. Even some muggles have had seer abilities in them, showing it is a human trait not a magical one." Sinistra had to stop there, the sun was setting in earnest now and it had captured Harry's attention away from his words.

They watched the sun set in quiet thought. Harry thought nothing of the long periods of silence he spent his days in. Quiet was safe, quiet was home, no one had hurt him when he had been quiet.

Tired out from the stressful day he didn't notice that he fell asleep with the sun. He didn't feel himself be lifted onto a conjured bed to wait for Severus. He was dead to the world as he was carried down to their dungeon rooms face snuggled against Severus' neck. It was the first time another person had ever carried him without waking him up, a big step on the road to dealing with his disorder.


	10. All Around Me

Break Me, Shake Me

DaggersBloodPain

A/N I have to admit I heavily thought about putting him in Ravenclaw but I know next to nothing about the Ravenclaw characters, little things like their names and the amount of them, I don't want to flood the story with original characters so he is going into a main house, I am sorry for those wanting him in a different house.

Chapter Ten

All Around Me

Severus spent the days leading up to the beginning of the school year feverishly working on the potion he believed would help Harry. He knew it would be just next to impossible to completely remove the traces of disease, even through the addictively strong Calming potion the boy had still been frightened at times. At best this new potion would prolong the length of time between panic attacks, and take the edge off his fear. The rest of his healing was up to Harry and how much he wanted to get better.

Harry split his time between evenings with Severus and mornings and afternoons with Adam. Both wizards kept an extra sharp eye out for the boy, and Harry was never left alone. The fact that both adults continued to be in his life with no signs of violence, or any hints they wanted rid of him allowed Harry to let himself be taken care of.

He was getting a bit better from just being away from the Dursleys but nothing could prepare him for the stark terror that was the first night the student's arrived. Dumbledore, after days of persuasion, had allowed Harry to skip the train ride. Severus and Adam knew Harry couldn't handle that many new people without someone he knew there. Even with a calming potion he might have a panic attack, and the students would not be prepared to handle that on the train.

He was told to wait for the other first years in a small room off to the side of the great hall. Harry was already dosed with a calming potion making the waiting easier, and he knew the group of first years would be small compared to the Great Hall. When he noticed the first students coming into the room he hid back in the shadows, unknowingly backing into a corner of the room.

It took a few minutes for the first student to spot him, a very curious boy with flaming red hair. "Who are you?" The strange boy called walking towards Harry and drawing the attention of the waiting students.

"I'm Harry," He answered quietly, not feeling threatened quite yet.

"Bloody Hell, Harry Potter!" Ron half-shrieked. "Do you have the scar? What do you remember? Why weren't you on the train? Hey, do you know how they will sort us?" Ron was asking questions at a mile a minute like any other curious child.

It was just too much for Harry to handle, the stares, the whispers, and Ron's excited questions he felt his control slipping, as his hands shock. There was no place to run as he was stuck in the stupid corner with Ron blocking his exit.

Suddenly there was a familiar head of platinum blond hair. "Back off Weasel you're scaring him." Draco ordered, coming between Ron and Harry, giving the brunette wizard a chance to catch his breath.

What do you know about it Malfoy, why would Harry Potter of all wizards talk to you?" Ron growled at Draco momentarily forgetting Harry in the background.

Harry grabbed Draco's hand from behind, and spoke up in a weak voice. "Come on Draco, don't fight."

Draco turned to Harry, ignoring the now angry red-head, "Are you alright Harry?"

"He scared me, but I think I'm ok," Harry admitted, latching on to the only known presence among the strangers.

Draco recognized the signs Harry was giving off. He knew the smaller boy was not just shy, it was something much deeper. HE had experience with the same disorder even as young as he was. He might not understand all the technical mumbo jumbo just yet, but he knew Harry was sick and would need help to get better. Harry interested Draco, and he had since their first meeting at the robe shop. Like all wizards, he had grown up with tales of this boy, not all of them good, but still he knew Harry was famous and here he was acting like a startled rabbit.

"I will help you Harry," Draco promised, making sure his body was blocking the majority of the stares.

"Thanks Draco," Harry said quietly, remembering what Severus told him, and wondering just what Draco was getting out of this.

Soon enough they were heading into the Great Hall, and Draco had to stoop to the level of guiding Harry out of the room when the frightened boy realized just how many sets of eyes were on them. Severus and Adam noticed this immediately and both couldn't wait until the new potion was ready for Harry. It should really help him.

Harry could barely concentrate as Professor McGonagall sat a three legged stool with a tattered old hat on top of it in front of the students. He was shocked when the old head piece started to sing, and he realized all they would have to do was try on the hat and it would sort them. Harry didn't think he was up for anything more strenuous.

He saw Draco immediately go to Slytherin, and zoned out until his own name was called. It was definitely not comforting to have all sight and sound cut off when he was in front of a room full of strangers. He hadn't recovered from his earlier scare and the first words the hate spoke to him. "Relax child! You will not be harmed. Just sit still and it will be over quickly. I notice you do not have the trust for Helga's noble house, but you have the heart of one. You are brave to try and fight your fears everyday, remember this bravery is not the absence of fear, but the refusal to give into it. The lion house is not calm enough for you. You would fit in well with Rowena's house in fact you would do very well in her house. Yet your thirst to prove yourself, you fight your battles to win them, and you are unafraid of hard work, the house of Slytherin would serve you well, but where to put you?"

"Put me with Draco please?" Harry asked politely.

"I see you already found a protector, well I don't want you too lose that, very well better be SLYTHERIN!" The hat shouted the last word aloud and when Harry took the hat off his head he was met with dead silence. He felt like bolting from the hall for the entire journey to his new table. The only thing that kept his feet moving forward and allowing him to slip into a seat next to Draco was the calming potion in his system.

When he finally sat down at the Slytherin table the hall erupted into sound as everyone started talking at once. It took several fireworks bursting from Dumbledore's wand to calm to students once more. The sorting continued among the whispers flying around. The icon of the Light was now a silver snake not the golden lion people expected, what other surprises would this shy child bring?


	11. You Can Still Be Free

Break Me, Shake Me

DaggersBloodPain

Chapter Eleven

You Can Still Be Free

Harry's first few days of classes were the best and worst of his life. He loved learning all about magic, and he soaked up the knowledge like a sponge, but the students still stared and whispered, putting him on constant edge. He was no longer taking calming potions, Severus wanted all traces of that potion out of his system before he administered the new potion to Harry. In the mean time the Slytherins became his semi-official body guards. Harry was easily the smallest child in Slytherin, most of the elder members recognizing the signs of abuse. They protected the small brunette as best they could, but it was hard to protect him from himself.

The students from other houses soon learned there was something… not quite right about their savior. This awareness only brought more hardship to poor Harry, because it caused the curious gazes to linger far longer than he wished they would. Everyone was trying to figure out what was wrong with him, and in doing so unintentionally made his life even harder.

Finally when September was drawing to an end and Harry was beginning to lose faith he could hold on without the calming draughts any longer, the new potion was finished.

"Now Harry, I want you to come to my office every morning before classes, I will give you the first dose of the day then. The house elves have agreed to send up your second dose with lunch to the Slytherin table. The less notice we draw towards us now the better. Any questions?" Severus explained shortly, handing Harry a vile of sky blue, thin, liquid.

"Are you sure this will help?" He asked cautiously, a little better, but not comfortable with asking questions.

"I am positive it will help, I had a friend test the potion and he says it works fine. I must remind you it will only dull the reaction, nothing can completely stop it." Severus replied.

"Anything is better than before," Harry said quietly, gripping the small vile tighter. "Thank you for helping me."

"Remember Harry if you need anything come to me, even if you do not think it is important." Severus assured before shooing the boy out of his private lab.

Harry took that to heart, when his head hurt in Quirrell's class, he told Severus about it. One Tuesday night he had a funny dream, he told Adam about it in class on Wednesday. When he heard a pair of Gryffindors whispering about a three-headed dog guarding a trap door on the third floor he went to Severus. Every time Harry encountered something he didn't understand he went to the two adults in the castle he had any measure of trust with.

The year passed with Harry keeping his nose out of trouble and concentrating on his books. He knew something big was happening in Hogwarts, and that Voldemort was most likely involved. He wasn't afraid of a shadow, he had too much to contend with being afraid of people that were physically around him to try fighting a ghost.

On the day towards the end of the year he noticed that not only was the headmaster not at Lunch, Gryffindor had lost massive amounts of house points between breakfast and lunch, an unheard of amount for being a weekend, no points lost during classes meant someone had managed to get themselves into a whole lot of trouble. Whatever had been brewing in the school was going down today, he could feel it even without being directly involved.

Quietly he finished his lunch, the slight unease he felt was not taken as unusual simply because it was usual for him to be at least a bit frightened at meals. Draco picked up on it, and raised an eyebrow in question.

"Something is going to happen tonight, I just know it." Harry confessed quietly.

"I noticed that too, whatever it is we should just stay out of it." Draco advised his smaller friend.

"I wasn't going to get involved. I was just wondering if we should warn someone." Harry defended himself indignantly.

"If we can tell something is wrong, then someone else will be just as able. Leave it to the adults Harry, no one expects an eleven year old to know something a grown wizard doesn't." Draco lectured logically.

"Alright, but if something bad happens I blame you." Harry reluctantly agreed, smiling a bit at the end to let Draco know he was only joking about the blaming part.

Five hours later…

"HE DID WHAT!?!" Severus yelled in the face of a sheepish appearing Draco.

"Harry went to talk to professor Sinistra and hasn't returned, I am worried about him." Draco admitted again, eyes on the floor.

"You are telling me Harry is lost in the castle all by himself?" Severus managed to calm himself down enough to ask without screaming.

"Yess," Draco replied dragging out the word.

"How could he be so stupid?" Severus asked himself rhetorically, before rushing out of the room, tracking Harry down with a discreet spell he had placed on the boy earlier in the year so he could find Harry if the boy had a panic attack.

One hour later…

"Is Harry ok?" Draco asked as an exhausted Severus came back to the common room a passed out Harry in his arms.

"Yes, he will be fine, someone tried to kidnap him but Harry panicked and had to be stunned. I found and enervated him, he is just sleeping now. There isn't a scratch on him, he is very lucky. The person who tried to grab him was working for the Dark Lord, he has been arrested and sent to Azkaban, without Harry he wasn't able to finish the job. I don't know what would have happened had they gotten a hold of him." Severus explained, knowing at least half of what he was saying was over Draco's head, but the worried snake deserved the truth.

"Why didn't they just kill Harry if the kidnapper was working for the Dark Lord?" Draco inquired noticing the oddity.

"I believe that may have been the last bit of freewill left in the man. That was the one thing he couldn't be forced to do, he managed to just stun Harry instead of kill him despite being controlled by the Dark Lord." Severus gave his opinion. "Now both you and Harry could use some sleep so help me get him to bed alright?"

"Sure," Draco agreed, allowing the subject to drop, plus he was really tired from being worried about Harry all night.

A/N I know it is pitifully short for the long wait but this is the most I can do for now and you have been waiting long enough.


	12. Carry on Dancing

Break Me, Shake Me

DaggersBloodPain

A/N It seems like fate and I are getting along on this story, I am running out of Savage Garden songs to use as titles, just as I was thinking about switching over to another band for when he is older. I will give credit to the musician I chose when it gets to that point, which should be pretty soon.

A/N2: I am speeding up this story to get to a point where he understands more about his disorder and with a mature view point I can write the symptoms and problems easier I am by no means rushing the story, because at this point there isn't much of a story to rush.

Chapter Twelve

Carry On Dancing

Hogwarts year Two…

Harry gazed softly at the castle he called home through the windows of the horseless carriages used by the students in second year and above to get to the castle. This summer had been one of the best of his life, he split his time between Severus' quarters, Adam's small flat in London, and Draco's manor house in the country side. All three had surprised him by finding ways of never letting him step foot on his relatives door step again.

He found the support of the adults to be confusing and a bit suspicious but if it kept him from the Dursleys he would accept whatever help he could get, it was the survivalist inside of him that made him do so. He accepted Draco a little more than the adults, but he didn't completely trust him yet, and it bothered Harry that he couldn't trust the people that were helping him, but he would always be at least a little suspicious of people.

That suspicion turned into his life line as the year progressed with him hearing strange voices and being doted on by a wizard that was his exact opposite. The more Lockhart dragged him into the spotlight the less he liked the man, and that wasn't very much to start with after the pixie incident.

The dueling club was nothing but a joke as Draco sent Ron flying down the platform with a well placed hex, Ron couldn't even touch the youngest Malfoy. It helped that Severus was actually teaching Draco how to duel while Lockhart just stood there posturing and giving the wrong wand movements.

He found out talking to snakes was not normal even for a wizard after he had mentioned the zoo incident to Adam during one of their visits. Harry actually felt kind of proud of the fact he had a special skill, he was learning different didn't mean freakish, but he was careful to hide his talent from the other students just to be safe.

When the end of the year came and the next life threatening situation played out the conversation went something like this.

"You are telling me the school is home to a giant snake?" Adam asked the raven haired boy as he lay in the white draped bed in the infirmary.

"Well it was the home, and it wasn't just any snake it was a basilisk." Harry answered quietly.

"You knew it was going after someone because you heard the snake speaking through the walls of the school and tracked him down?" Adam continued beginning to feel faint.

"Something like that," Harry's head was down as he played with a loose string on his bed sheet.

"You managed to kill it using some rather impressive transfiguration and spearing it through the head? In the process you got yourself bit, and if the headmaster's phoenix didn't have a soft spot for you, you could have died?" Now Adam needed to sit down he was in too much shock.

"I just have one more question. Why in the world didn't you go for help?" Adam knew something odd had to have happened there.

"I didn't have a great deal of time, I passed Lockhart's office on the way and before I got ten words out he was already running, I think someone should do some digging into his background, I doubt he did any of those acts in those books." Harry tried to explain.

"Next year try to keep yourself alive alright?" Adam instructed weakly as he thought of jut how lucky Harry was to be alive.

"I'll try," Harry answered knowing better than to make a promise he couldn't keep.

Hogwarts year three…

Another summer passed slowly and Harry and Draco were officially teenagers. Harry still moved from guardian to guardian but was much more comfortable with the arrangement this year. He knew his problem would always be with him, but he was learning when to fight against his instincts and when to listen to them. This summer was not packed with fun but he did learn a lot about his magic and himself, it was time well spent in his opinion.

Waking up on the floor of the train compartment was his wake up call to just how much pain he had buried inside. The dementors stationed as protection for the students loved to feed from Harry. They broke the rules and fully came onto school property just to feast on Harry's pain. With Severus and Adam's help he learned to cast a patronus but that spell was the most difficult thing he had ever learned. He simply did not have many good memories in his past.

The one thing that finally worked was something he wasn't even sure was happy, just not as painful as the rest, the night Severus rescued him from the Dursleys. He figured for someone who wasn't sick that would be happy.

That year they had to work a bit harder to hide his problem from Dumbledore, it seemed like the old man was everywhere, and they still did not want him knowing Harry's weakness. Harry was still too young to withstand Dumbledore's manipulations if the old man knew where he was most susceptible. Harry was maturing rapidly and soon Dumbledore would lose the opportunity to mold him early, he will have to deal with an intelligent fully informed young man rather than an impressionable child.

There was a mystery that year and it concerned the true identity of escaped convict Sirius Black. Harry knew there was something missing from the story of betrayal. What was it that caused him to snap? In all appearances nothing had changed between his parents and Black so why betray them? It just didn't make sense and the lack of a trial that might have given him some answers bothered Harry.

Harry worked hard and did some digging into the past and found something unexpected, all of the marauders could change into animals. He learned that simply by asking around, apparently it was the worst kept secret that was still secret there was. What Harry wanted to know is how Pettigrew could have known Sirius had betrayed James and Lily if it all happened the same night. At the same time he was being carried to Surrey Black was already off to Azkaban it just didn't make sense there was no way news traveled that fast.

Pettigrew was a rat, something small and inconspicuous that could slide down into the sewers to hide, Sirius was a gigantic black dog, if any of them planned a getaway using their forms it would have been Pettigrew.

The more Harry looked into things the more it looked like they had the wrong man.

"Severus I have a question?" Harry asked hesitantly knowing of the animosity between Severus and the Marauders. "Is there a way to find out if a wizard is truly dead? I mean if anyone was lost or kidnapped is there a way to know if they are alright fro ma distance?" Harry tried to ask inconspicuously.

"Just why do you want to know this? Is someone missing?" Severus asked worriedly.

"I just want to check into a theory I have, so is there a way?" Harry repeated his question.

"The most basic is a point me spell, it has two purposes one is to find north just like a muggle compass, the other is if you give it a name of a wizard it will track the wizard's magical signature and give you the general direction of the person. If the wizard isn't alive the spell won't have anything to track and will just do nothing." Severus lectured. "What kind of theory?"

"Can you teach me this spell?" Harry asked ignoring Severus' question.

"Hold your wand balanced on your palm and say point me followed by whoever you are looking for, it is a fairly simple spell." Severus instructed still curious about what his student wanted.

"Point me Peter Pettigrew," Harry said the spell to his wand as it lay on his hand, and slowly it began to turn and stopped its movement pointing at a solid brick wall that if he remembered correctly faced West.

"That can't be right!" Severus exclaimed, drawing his own wand and repeating the spell. It did the same thing Harry's did. "Pettigrew is alive?" He whispered to himself.

"What does this mean?" Harry asked quietly.

"It means you are to stay here until we sort this out. I am going to Dumbledore now, I would not be surprised if the ministry gets involved at some point tonight." Severus ordered.

"I have no desire to get tangled up in the ministry especially with dementors prowling about, I will stay right here." Harry reassured.

"Why does this sound familiar?" Severus said shaking his hand as he left the room to inform the headmaster of the new development.

Harry was left to himself then, wondering what this meant for Pettigrew and Black. Most importantly he wanted to know the truth about his parents' deaths. That would mean the world to him.

A/N this is where I leave off, the next chapter will be in story format rather than summary and the plot will progress from there.


	13. Smooth Criminal

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

A/N I know it has been awhile but I am back, updates will still be slow as I am still working through some personal issues, as well as a touch of writers block for some of my older stories. Everything will be finished but it will take me longer than I had planned.

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Smooth Criminal**

Harry couldn't believe how quickly the meeting had been put together. Not twenty four hours ago he had mentioned to Severus the oddity he had discovered, now he was sitting in a room with four high ranked members of the ministry, Dumbeldore, and Severus. Harry was thankful he had thought to take a dose of potion before he walked into the room.

"Are you sure the spell was performed correctly?" One of the Aurors asked briskly, as if he didn't have time for this.

"Do you really think we would go to all this fuss for something that wasn't confirmed?" Dumbledore scolded and the auror had the good sense to blush at his error. "The spell has been performed by three different people all achieving the same result. Everything we have uncovered points to one thing, Peter Pettigrew is alive, and if he is we may have an innocent man in jail."

"If he is alive, and we have no proof of that, it doesn't mean Black didn't cause the explosion, we shouldn't jump to conclusions without questioning him. Jumping in too quickly is what got us in this bind in the first place." The minister finally spoke up, and Harry found himself immediately disliking the man, he was just not the sort to inspire confidence, how the man was elected Harry didn't know.

"Why wasn't he given a trial?" Harry asked quietly, his condition not allowing him to speak much louder than a whisper.

"At the time the evidance seemed irrefutable, and we couldn't afford to let a dangerous man like that loose for long." A man Harry didn't know replied to his question, with the same kind of cold distain his uncle had shown. It wasn't that Hary didn't like this man, he was positively terrifed of him.

Severus knowing Harry couldn't take much more of Crouch's attitude slid into the conversation easily. "What would be the easiest way to solve this matter, do we spend time and effort tracking down Pettigrew or do we send some one to question Black with a vial of Veritaserum?"

"The Warden of Azkaban already has Veritaserum on hand, he is awaiting our decision." A dark-skinned auror sitting to the right of Dumbledore answered.

"That seems to be the wisest course, how do we contact the Warden?" Severus answered, that was one question he never thought he would be asking.

"Only a signed and sealed order from the Minister will be followed, I will get word to him this evening, he will get the answers we need. In the mean time the rest of you should spend a little time following the course of the spell, with luck Pettigrew may not be that far away." The minister made the first real decision Harry had seen since entering the room, he decided to hold back on his opinion of Fudge for the time being, just in case, not good to underestimate anyone.

"Shakelbolt, Dumbledore, Snape, Brown follow me," Crouch ordered, seeming to forget Harry was even in the room.

Not two minutes later Harry was alone with the minister of magic.

"I have ment to introduce myself before this, but things kept getting in the way, I am Cornelius Fudge." The miniter introduced himself reaching a hand out for Harry to shake.

Harry hesitantly took the offered hand as he replied softly, "Harry Potter. I don't know why you would want to spend your valuable time meeting me when there are more important things to be doing." Harry hoped that sounded like the flattery it was intended as rather than the criticisim it could have been.

"You are an important person Mr. Potter, I believe this might only be the first of several meetings. I don't want you to think the ministry dosen't care. Now I have to go see about clearing up this mess." The way Fudge spoke raised a red flag in Harry's mind, he knew he was dealing with someone who might not be as bad as they looked. Harry would wait to see how the night played out but he may just have to keep tabs on the minister.

... Five Hours later

Sirius couldn't believe what had just happened. He was laying in his cell wondering how much time had passed since Peter's ultimate betrayal when he felt the unearthly chill of the Dementors. Waiting for the pain to come he didn't notice the sound of human footsteps or the graiting metalic sound of a key sliding in a lock. He did hear the scrap of metal on stone as his cell door slid open for the first time in twelve years.

"Sirius Black, you are to be questioned with Veritaserum and if found innocent you will be rehabilitated and realised from your sentance." The Warden's voice was nearly as cold as the dememntors presence, you would have to be cold too to endure a place like Azkaban day in and day out. The Warden was almost more feared than the Dementors themselves for anyone who was even aware of his exsistence.

Shakels to stop him from running were on his ankles, manacles to keep from fighting on his wrists, and a metal band around his neck to surpress any spikes in magic were all secured before he was allowed to move an inch. He was led inch by agonizing inch up out of the cavern like prision and toward the front of the compound, wherew a few rarely used interogation chambers were located.

It took a further five minutes to secure him to the metal chair in the middle of the room, and administer the potion that would clear his name.

"What is your full name?" The Warden asked to test the accuracy of the potion.

"Sirius Orion Black," His voice was monotone and he couldn't lie even if he wanted to.

"Did you murder Peter Pettigrew?" The Warden asked cutting straight to the crux of the matter, knowing his supplier was one ofthe best in the world.

"No." Blunt enough for you?

"Did you intend to kill him?" The Warden asked in the case of Pettigrew manageing to escape the blast.

"Yes,"

Did you cast the spell that killed twelve innocent muggles?"

"No,"

"Who cast that spell?"

"Peter Pettigrew."

"Why did you go after Peter Pettigrew?"

"He betrayed the Potters to Voldemort."

"How do you know that?"

"Peter Pettigrew was the secret keeper for the Potters, it was suposed to be me, we switched at the last minute hoping it would fool the death eaters."

The Warden stood still for a moment, maybe he reall was innocent. "Sirius Black are you guilty of any of the crimes you were sentenced here for?"

"No," sirius answered in the same dead voice.

"Then I release you Sirius Black from your sentence at Azkaban Prison, on grounds of innocence." As the Warden finished speaking, the one person with the authority to overturn the sentences of prisoners, the magic in his words went to work changing the records both at the prison and the ministry. In a matter of moments Sirius Black would be, for all intents and purposes, a free man.


	14. Dangerous

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Dangerous**

"I don't want to come!" Harry told his oldest friend for what felt like the thousandth time, and he wasn't sure that was an exaggeration.

"But Harry, you never get to come do anything, this is the Quidditch World Cup we are talking about, you have your potion and everyone will be too busy watching the game to pay much attention to you." Draco argued with his very stubborn friend, with the same argument hoping to wear him down.

"Draco you and I both know in a crowd that big the potion can't do enough, it only helps it is not a miracle cure." Harry explained one more time, hoping it would be the last but not holding his breath.

"Harry, we will be in the top box, very few people will be up there, you will only have to deal with getting to and from the seats. We will take care of you there, you know that. Please come with us it wont be as much fun without you." Draco begged.

"Alright, I will come, and I better not regret this Draco," Harry finally gave in thinking about how much it would mean to the blond for him to come along.

"I promise Harry, nothing bad is going to happen." Draco assured happily.

XxXxXxXxX Two weeks and several hours later...

Harry was almost glad he had come, the game had been amazing, and seeing all the different types of magical tents, and he really hadn't been bothered by many people. Though he did have to shrink down in his seat between Lucius and Draco when the Weasley's arrived, he was doing alright but a direct confrontation was more than he could handle on top of being the stadium with thousands of other wizards. His potion was good, but it wasn't a miracle drug.

He was happy right up until the after parties began and the screams started. As Draco and he ran through the trees bordering their camp site, no sign of any trusted adult he couldn't help but think he was going to murder his best friend for making him come.

The truly frightening part came when a blood red spell was cast, coming close enough Harry felt the pressure of the spell as it hurtled past his ear. He did not recognize the voice of the wizard who had cast the spell, and he wasn't slowing down to find out, his own wand was in his hand as he ran with Draco still beside him, matching strides strides step for step. Yet another spell came hurtling out of the tress, this one hitting Draco in the leg, causing the blond to let out a startled scream as he fell to the ground. Harry stopped running than, he refused to just leave Draco laying on the ground in pain while their was a mysterious wizard casting spells at them. Stepping over Draco he turned to block who ever might be coming through the trees.

The man was slim and wild, walking with stiff jerky motions of someone who had just woken up from a long sleep. Harry was positive he had never seen this man before in his life. "Harry Potter? Fortune must be smiling down on my tonight, first I am freed and than I run into the one person who could get in the way of our plans, Master will be pleased at this turn of events." The voice was just as rusty and stiff from disuse as the man's muscles were, a gleam of madness was all that could be seen in the monster's eyes, any other feature was drowned out by shadows.

Harry really wished he had thought to take another dose of his potion right than, but instead of worrying he focused on pushing back his fear, enabling him to reply. "Who are you? I take it this Master of yours is Voldemort?" Harry answered, not confirming or denying his name, the man already knew the truth anyway.

"Why would I tell such things to a dead man?" The man snarled before brandishing his wand and starting to shout a spell Harry had never heard before, but before he could finish a large black mass of shaggy fur, teeth, and claws tore into the insane wizard. Drawing blood and screams, allowing Harry to help Draco to his feet and try to flee from the scene of the crime. The creature he now identified as a large dog following their trail once the other wizard was too injured to follow.

Shadowed by the large dog Harry practically drug Draco through the trees as far and as fast as he could without hurting the other, Draco was pale and biting his lip from the pain, blood was dripping down his leg from the place the cutting hex had hit. The cut was deep, a quick prod at the injured flesh while Harry had been conversing with their attacker had proved the cut had hit the hard bone beneath the layers of skin and muscle. Stronger men than Draco would have been on the ground screaming in agony from such a wound.

He took the pain for not even half a mile before the wounded limb refused to bare his weight any longer, he sunk to the ground with Harry steadying his half fall. This was as far as they could go, their only hope now was that someone would find them. Harry busied himself with trying to stop Draco's bleeding with a strip of cloth torn from his shirt. It was a mostly futile effort with the sheer scale of the wound but he couldn't sit by and just do nothing.

"Harry, it will be alright, step back now and I might be able to help him," A new voice, just as gruff as their attackers had been, but with a warm tone the other hadn't possessed. Harry turned startled to the new voice, revealing a frightfully skinny man with wild black hair and deep blues eyes, his clothes and hands were marred by splashes of a crimson liquid that was too close to blood for comfort. A quick glance around reveled the disappearance of the grim like dog.

"An Animagus! Who are you? Wait, help Draco first, than answer the question." Harry ordered after he realized how much blood Draco must have lost and still was losing as he was too busy gawking at the strange man that looked a bit familiar to him for some reason.

The man nodded to Harry in acceptance and pulled a wand out of his right sleeve as he went over to Draco. A whispered spell had the dirt and leaves that had gotten in it from their flight through the woods cleared away, the true extent of the wound bringing a wince to his face. "I have seen worse but this is beyond my skill to heal, I can lesson blood flow and bandage it though." He explained out loud as he drew on the short amount of Auror medical classes he had been able to take before he had been unduly arrested.

When Draco was taken care of and resting quietly against a tree trunk Harry once again turned to question the wizard, "Just who are you?"

"Harry, my name is Sirius Black, I am your godfather." The man now revealed as Sirius answered as Lucius Malfoy flanked by a few other ministry members broke through the tree line with wands drawn.

"What is going on here?" The blond aristocrat asked as he surveyed the scene, no one ready to answer. "Black what are you doing here?"

No answer was immediately forthcoming, but eventually Harry stepped in to answer his injured friend's father. "Well you see..."

A/N Yes I am that evil.


	15. Bad

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

**A/N **Reading back through I realized I never gave credit to the new artist whose songs I am snitching for chapter titles, He is Micheal Jackson. I know some people have serious moral objections to him but I have just one thing to say in his defence, if he really did those things he was accused of where in the hell were those boy's parents? Who in their right mind would let their children stay alone in the home of a complete stranger even if the man was famous, they should have been looking after their kids at night so where were they?

**Chapter Fifteen  
**

**Bad**

"We left the tents went we heard the screaming start. Everyone else from our portion of the campground was running towards the woods so we followed. I don't know how it happened but we were separated from the rest of the crowd and a strange wizard started firing spells at us, Draco was hit with one and we would have both been killed if Sirius hadn't shown up. The other man called me by name and claimed to work for Voldemort." Harry managed to spit out all in one breath as his repressed fear started clawing at him and he wished he had his potion, a calming draught, anything that might help him now.

"Black how did you find them?" Lucius asked the ex-con, distracting everyone else from Harry, in an attempt to let the boy catch his breath.

"I have been looking for Harry since I was freed, and while I had escaped as well until a sneaky little rat thought it would be amusing to turn me in anonymously. I knew the World Cup was being held here so I came in the hopes Harry would be here. I found them when I saw the lights of the spells a grown man was throwing at two boys. I didn't know it was Harry, and I am guessing the other boy is yours by his looks, until I got close enough to see them. Harry you look like your father, but I am betting you have heard that before." Sirius replied in his raspy, disused, voice.

"Yes Draco is my son," Lucius responded, "Now, did you recognize who the wizard was that attacked them?"

Sirius lifted an eyebrow at that, "Malfoy I have been in Azkaban or on the run for thirteen years, how do you expect me to recognize much of anyone, except you because you never change, and Harry because he looks like his dad, plus it was dark out so even if there was a snowball's chance in Hades I knew the person I couldn't see their face anyway."

"Alright, so you have a point, judging from the blood on you I am assuming you have at least incapacitated the attacker or do you need medical attention?" Lucius seemed to just notice the red staining the other man.

"I left him in the woods, test his wand there will be enough evidence on it to justify my actions. I am unharmed but your son could use help I did what I could but the longer we stand here talking the deeper his scar might be after they heal it." Sirius pointed out.

Lucius could have kicked himself for having to be reminded of his son's plight. Going over to where his overly pale child was sitting against the tree he manually scooped the boy into his arms and turned back to Harry and Sirius, Harry had managed to calm himself down considerably while the older wizards had been talking. "Harry are you alright? Severus is on his was here if you are. I need to get Draco to the hospital. Do you feel safe enough with Sirius to wait for for him?" Lucius was hard pressed to ask this of Harry, he knew first hand how hard it would be for him, but his son needed help now.

"I will be alright, just take care of Draco." Harry managed to answer without any waiver to his voice, which was no mean feat, but right now Draco needed Lucius more than he did. Sirius had just saved their lives he should be fine for the short time it would take Severus to follow the tracer he had placed on Harry in his first year. There was still that lingering shadow of fear though, this was truly going to be difficult.

"Well, if your sure," Lucius responded followed quickly by the crack of sound that signaled his dissaparation, followed quickly by the disappearance of the men he had brought, presumably to go find where Sirius had left the attacker, only Sirius stayed and for that Harry was glad. One stranger was easier to deal with than five.

Sirius just let out a bark like laugh, "You would think the ministry would be a bit more concerned about leaving you alone with a person they have had locked up in Azkaban for thirteen years, who I might add pretty much admitted to manslaughter in self-defense."

"Even I have to admit the ministry does not make the best judgment calls." Harry agreed, his muscles tense and pulse racing, but he somehow managed to keep his voice mostly steady, probably from years of practice.

"Well you would be right there. Now how about you tell me about yourself. I haven't got much to say about myself except I was friends with your parents, James a bit more than Lily, and I was named your godfather when you were born. I was in the early stages of Auror training before I was arrested, I didn't even make it completely through my first year." Sirius explained trying to break the ice with the godson he hadn't laid eyes on for years.

Harry was not so sure how to respond to that, from the few stories he had been told since they discovered his innocence, it sounded like Sirius would not be pleased with him being sorted into Slytherin, not to mention his friendship with Draco and the near familial relationship he had with Severus. the last thing he wanted to do was be alone in the woods with an upset stranger.

"Well come on, there is no need to be shy. I just want to get to know you again." Sirius encouraged as he noticed Harry seemed to be debating heavily over whether or not he should answer.

Harry just sighed and decided since he was already afraid he might as well get it over with and answer the question. "You might not like this from what I have heard but I am a Slytherin, will be going into fourth year, potions is my best class, but Astronomy is my favorite, and Draco Malfoy is my best friend. Things at the Dursleys, that's where I was taken when my parents died by the way, weren't so good so for the last four years I have been living with Professor's Snape and Sinistra for the most part and Draco lets me stay when the other two are busy." Harry decided not to reveal the fact he had been calling the professors by their first names in private for now. No need to overload Sirius right now,

Sirius did need a moment to absorb what Harry had said, but that was because the words were spoken so quickly he really only caught about every other one. When he did understand he was shocked to say the least, but before he could voice his opinion he noticed the look of panic on Harry's face. "Relax Harry it is a shock I admit but I didn't expect you to be just like James even if you do look like him. I had a lot of time to think in Azkaban and I realized we were not all that great in school so if Slytherin is the right place for you, and you are happy with those people I will just have to get used to it and hope they help you turn out better than the Marauders." Sirius spoke sincerely placing what he hoped would be a comforting hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Well Black I never expected you to admit the Marauders were anything less than perfect." Severus' caustic voice came out of the gloom of the trees, and Harry showed just how frightened he was by plastering himself to the trusted presence, grateful when a vial of familiar blue liquid was discretely passed to him. Severus had noticed Harry hadn't mentioned anything about his SAD to Black.

"Severus, I didn't expect you to be happy to see me," here Sirius paused for Severus' snort of derision, "I did almost get you killed. I would say I am sorry but that just seems pathetic when I realized how close you came to dieing or worse Cursed." Sirius spoke as calmly as he could unable to stop the wince that crossed his face at Harry's shocked gasp that same with his confession of nearly ending Severus' life.

"Why would you do that?" Harry asked, his voice muffled by Severus' robes.

"I was young and stupid, I nearly killed him, and caused Remus to get in serious trouble all for a prank, and if it weren't for your father Harry it might have been a lot worse." Sirius admitted freely taking all the guilt he deserved. Azkaban had the odd effect of making him grow up. Something Severus hadn't been able to do until he had seen Lily's eyes staring back at him from Harry's.

"Look Black, I am not sure I can forgive you for what you did. Attempted murder is not a prank, though I am not too proud to admit I gave as good as I got for the most part in school. So while I do not like you, and I believe the feeling is mutual, I am willing to tolerate your presence for Harry's sake. He could use someone to tell him stories of James that don't involve speaking ill of the dead." severus gracefully accepted an apology that if anyone would have asked him about before he met Harry, Severus would readily admit he would spit on the olive branch and curse it with Fiendfyre.

"Thank you," Harry's quiet words were for Severus' ears only and that alone made swallowing his pride worth it.

"Now don't you think we should be getting out of the woods now?" Severus asked not giving Sirius a chance to respond to his words. He might not be able to control his temper if the mutt stuck one of his muddy paws into his mouth and said something wrong.

Harry finally loosened his hold on Severus, wanting to walk out of the forest under his own power, but he still stuck to the older man's side like a barnacle. He had been through too many scares in one night and he was tired and on the edge of a panic attack, all he wanted at that moment was a warm bed. Than something Sirius had said struck a memory from his third year in school. "Hey Sirius, that Remus you mentioned was that Remus Lupin?" He inquired quietly, his potion had given him a bit of curiosity back, but that was the best he could manage in his current state.

Sirius knew Harry had to be tired, so instead of forcing his opinion on Severus he focused his attention on the shy boy. "Oh so you have met Moony have you?"

"Who's Moony?" Harry asked admittedly confused, was Sirius talking about his old professor?

"Well Remus, your dad, Peter, and I were all part of the Marauders and Remus' nickname was Moony, mine was Padfoot, James was Prongs, and Peter was wormtail. Do you want to here about some of our adventures?" Sirius explained.

"I wouldn't mind, but could you please leave out any stories where you were cruel to Severus?" Harry hadn't realized he had called him by name until he heard the sharp intake of breath.

Sirius surprised both of the other wizards by just letting it go for now, "Alright, I was going to do that anyway." He agreed and that was how Harry began his education of the infamous Marauders, with Severus monitoring every word passed between dog and boy.

A/N I decided to make Sirius a little more sane in this story. The way I see it you can't sit for year after year in near complete isolation reliving your worst memories and not do some serious thinking on your past mistakes. Feeding one of your classmates to a werewolf just for laughs is not a good thing, and I think Sirius would realize some of the pranks the Marauders pulled weren't funny just cruel.


	16. You Are Not Alone

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

**Chapter Sixteen**

**You Are Not Alone  
**

Harry had never been so glad to see his room in Severus' quarters before. He burrowed deep within the blankets trying to calm his shaking shoulders, and lower his breathing. Severus had told him about the strain the hyperventilation had put on his eleven year old body, he didn't hold any delusions that it was not hurting him now.

"Harry, it is going to be alright, you are home." Severus told him, carding his hand through the black locks when he realized that Harry wasn't cold, even though he had suspected as much from seeing the same behavior before.

"I know, but its so hard," Harry responded with his voice shaking.

"I know, believe me, I may not know for myself but I comforted another like you long ago. Someone who struggled like you did, the potion I made for you was started because of him, I didn't have any reason to finish it until I met you. If you want proof that you can beat this problem and remain active and sane just look at Draco's Father." Severus whispered reassuringly, wondering how Lucius would react to knowing he had told Harry. Severus knew Lucius had figured out what was wrong with Harry the very first time he had ever stayed at Malfoy manor. It was up to Lucius whether he would help Harry beat this, or make him fight on his own, like he had to for the most part.

"Mr. Malfoy is sick too?" Harry asked quietly.

Severus was actually glad Harry had long stopped referring to his disease like he was freak for having it, after all he really was sick, it was just in his mind that was not the body. "Yes, but he has stopped admitting to it, he actually was never very good at admitting he needed help of any kind, but that is why he was left with no one but a boy two years his junior to help him, while you have a whole house of helpers if you ever need it."

"I think I understand, but I don't see how I could ever get better I have been sick for so long it seems like I have been suppressing panic attacks my whole life." Harry was coming as close to complaining about his disorder that Severus had ever seen, he knew Harry had to have hated having it since he realized he was different, but he had never said it out loud before.

"I'm sorry Harry, I am not willing to lie to you, Lucius still has panic attacks to this day, but he learned to hide them, and they are far less frequent then when he was younger. This is not a disorder that leaves overnight, I promise it will get easier if you promise me you won't give up and will keep trying," Severus bargained with the frustrated boy.

"I will keep fighting as long as I can, I just don't know how long that will be," Harry admitted.

"You have come this far, you can make it the last little bit further." Severus encouraged the boy he now thought of as his own, and he would admit it with pride.

"I just don't know," Harry said before he let his insecurity take hold and he started to cry, unashamed at the tears that slid down his cheeks. Better this than dealing with another panic attack. The tears were powerful and cleansing, something Harry truly needed to do a little more often, it wasn't a female trait it was a human one, and even some animals cried.

Severus held him as he cried, knowing there wasn't much else he could do until the tears stopped. He knew Harry needed this just as much as his surrogate son did. He did not degrade or belittle Harry for letting the tears flow, everytime he did, he would be all the stronger afterwords.

Harry's tears finally dried themselves up and he lifted his head out of Severus' robes before asking him with a watery smile, "I need something to cheer me up, could you tell me what is going on at Hogwarts this year?"

"Oh, so you caught onto Lucius' not so subtle hints did you? Don't worry you're not in trouble, he wanted you and Draco to figure it out or he wouldn't have even hinted. Have you ever read about the tri-wizard tournament?"

"Yes, its where the three top European magic schools compete against each other for bragging rites and a thousand galleon prize money to the winning champion. I thought it had been disbanded due to too many deaths?" Harry rattled off, knowing the truth, but wondering why in the world Dumbledore would risk his student's in such a deadly tournament that didn't really have much purpose that he could see.

"That was the reason yes, and Dumbledore believes it is time to resurrect the tournament to promote unity amongst the schools. You and I both know that the war isn't over and he wants as many people on his side as possible. It is supposed to only be open to upper years so he will have plenty of freshly graduated recruits at the end of the year." Severus informed him knowing where Harry's distrustful mind would lead, once again glad he had managed to earn and keep the boy's fragile trust.

"So he is going to risk the lives of every student both participating and watching the tasks to serious danger even death just for political power?" Harry asked with distaste lacing his words.

"Well that was the reason for the tournament in the first place Harry. Politics is a dirty often unrewarding game where just one wrong move could cost you the allegiance of your army. It is a tightrope I know I wouldn't want to walk. Dumbledore is simply doing what he thinks is for the best, does that make him the impeccable person he wants people to see him as? No, does it make him evil? No again. He is gambling with children which makes him worse in some ways, but the ministry makes similar preparations, and when the Dark Lord was in his prime he didn't even bother with subtlety he just gained followers one by one and made them too frightened to leave. Don't make the mistake of thinking only one man is the villain in this game, they all are, it is a choice between evils, but it is your choice." Severus challenged Harry's views, they could be dangerous. Thinking just one person was in the wrong could keep you from noticing the arrow pointed at your back until it was too late.

"I understand what you say, and I will think about it, I just don't understand why I would have to chose. I mean I have a panic attack when Draco touches my shoulder to get my attention and I don't see him coming, how am I supposed to fight anyone?" Harry was frustrated and confused with his ignorance, an unusual state for him to be in, his childhood hide out of the library had carried over to Hogwarts.

"It is expected if Voldemort finds a way to come back, and he very well might, but just know this. You have more strength in you than I have ever seen, if you can push back your fear for a single moment you will beat who ever is standing on the other side of your wand." Severus advised.


	17. Just Good Friends

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

**A/N** I just wanted to say I have decided on who will be paired with Harry, and it is a rare pairing but one that has been gaining popularity for awhile. This is story is now a Harry/Viktor story.

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Just Good Friends  
**

"Harry are you ready yet?" Draco asked as he pounded on the bathroom door in the Slytherin boys' dorm.

"Almost," Harry managed to reply only after spitting out the mouthful of toothpaste that had been impeding his speech. There was only one thing left to do and that was to pull the chain around his neck and make sure the vial was full, even though thanks to a nifty refilling charm it was always full as long as the cauldron it was connected to had his potion in it. Severus had never once let the cauldron run out, but Harry was paranoid, he knew how bad it could get if he was forced to function without it if he hit a rough patch.

The vial around his neck contained a single dose of his potion, keeping him from accidentally overdosing, he was mature enough to have access to his potion at all times, but only take it when he needed it. Severus was very proud of his progress, he had cut down on the number of doses he needed to take in a day from four to three, and though that didn't seem like much, with a severe disorder like Harry's even that small amount had to have had a major impact on his control. The only one to really notice any change in Harry was Draco and that was the truly awe inspiring part.

When he finally left the bathroom Draco was tapping his foot impatiently, "Come on we better get going or we will miss breakfast." Draco ordered Harry.

Harry just looked at the clock on the side of the common room, "Draco stop being such a drama king, we have plenty of time."

"But Harry don't you want to see Krum again? He will be at breakfast." Harry could see the starstruck look in Draco's eyes and new if he ever came face to face with his idol again Krum was going to end up finding those 1,001 uses for duct tape he had heard about from a muggle born student.

"Draco you do realize if the poor guy is jumped by his fans day in and day out he might just be sick of it right? I think the best way you could gain his attention is by treating him like a normal person, not a celebrity, I know I would prefer being treated like that." Harry advised as they walked up to the Great Hall, seeing the Durmstrang students filtering in through the front doors, they must be staying in their boat while they were at Hogwarts.

"But Harry, this is Viktor Krum! He is like the biggest celebrity in the world, why wouldn't he like the attention?" Draco just didn't understand how someone, who wasn't sick, could not like attention. I mean he pretty much did everything in his power to get noticed by everyone in the room as soon as he entered it.

"Just because he is talented on a broom and decided to pursue that as a career does not mean he knew he would be bombarded by fans the moment his feet touched the ground. Try getting to know the real Viktor Krum and you may become more than his fan, you might just be his friend." Harry explained slowly, knowing it was going to be near impossible for Draco to figure it out without seeing it first hand, and even than the blond's stay in the land of denial could last for awhile.

"Well you never know he might like the fans." Draco protested as they entered the hall and took their usual seats in the middle of the table with their backs to the Ravenclaw table. This was part of Harry's self imposed therapy, it made it nearly impossible to bolt, if he got scared during meals he would just have to learn how to deal with it without drawing attention to himself.

Harry just dropped the subject, sometimes Draco could be too stubborn for his own good, the Quidditch cup incident was still heavy on his mind.

Harry knew the instant the sport star entered the hall. Everyone at first went quiet then burst out in excited whispers, not unlike his first few mornings at the school. Harry was the one to see the irritation and hesitancy in Krum's stance as he walked to the closest empty seat in the hall, which just happened to be directly across from Draco. Viktor's expression upon entering the hall was all the confirmation Harry needed to prove his theory; just being good at something doesn't make you a narcissist.

Draco did not catch the subtle hints in Viktor's body language, that the man just wanted to eat in peace, though in Draco's defense he normally would have noticed the signs. Draco just didn't want to see the truth right now, because that would mean Harry was right and if Viktor didn't like attention how else was he supposed to get to know him?

"Can I have your autograph?"

"Marry Me?"

"Don't sit with the snakes come over here!"

The deluge of commentary from all around him just seemed to roll off Viktor's stooped shoulders, though there was a suspicious tick in his left eyebrow that warned Harry he was close to just up and leaving the hall, only years of practice kept him seated.

When Harry say that Draco was about to make the social faux paux of the century by opening his mouth to no doubt ask Krum similar questions Harry not-so-subtly stepped on his foot to quiet him, and then turned his own soft voice on the man in question. "Excuse me for asking, but doesn't it get annoying to have all these people ready to jump you all the time?" Harry was very proud of the fact he managed to keep his voice even. His goal this year was to hide his disorder from the visiting schools, just to prove he could hide it when it suited him to.

Viktor raised his eyebrow at the unexpected question, but answered anyway in a roughly accented voice that was almost the exact opposite of Harry's quiet tenor. "It does, but I got used to it after awhile, you know my name by now, but what is yours?" Viktor asked curiously and since Harry had made sure to cover his scar with his bangs while the other schools were here it was hard to tell him apart from the other students and that was the intention.

"You mean you don't recognize Harry Potter?" The boy sitting on Viktor's other side, a sixth year Harry didn't know, asked.

Viktor didn't look embarrassed at all he just reached out a hand to Harry, "Nice to meet you Harry Potter."

"Nice to meet you too Viktor Krum, and don't pay attention to him, I would rather people not know who I am right away." Harry was quick to reply, not wanting anyone to think he agreed with the sixth year; who he just might have to have a little 'talk' with the next time they were in the common room together.


	18. He's the Wizard

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

**Chapter Eighteen**

**He's the Wizard  
**

"Alright who was the wise guy who made me look like an arrogant arse at the feast?" Harry half growled when they reached the common room after the near fiasco with Krum at dinner. Harry had decided that a dose of potion would go down well and had taken one on the way down to the dungeons, he was in prime condition to confront the idiot. He wasn't as afraid of his own housemates as he was the rest of the school, that was the only reason he could call them out in public like that.

"Sorry Harry," The male from dinner said hanging his head shamefully, they all had a bit of a soft spot for the quiet Slytherin and he had spent the last part of dinner beating himself up over the comment he had made, but being the well trained Slytherin he was he had hid it well.

"Sorry doesn't cut it, I don't ask for much, my privacy is the one thing I have asked for from everyone. You had no right to speak for me like that. You made me sound like an idiot and forced me into the public eye, if I wanted to give him the truth that was supposed to be my decision. I only talked to him at first to keep Draco out of trouble, and while it didn't end as badly as it could of you still took my free will from me." Harry protested, he still wasn't confidant enough to yell or shout, but he had gotten better to the point he could stick up for himself to a certain degree.

"It won't happen again," He replied, properly chastised, it was rare to receive a dressing down from Harry but when you got when it was in your best interest to listen. He had an entire house of protectors, even if Harry himself was passive some of his protectors were not and all through his little speech Draco had been carefully twirling his wand loosely in his hands, ready to come to Harry's defense.

"Good," Harry responded, before turning and heading towards his dorm for the night, he didn't want to waste the potion's affect on preaching when he could be using it to get a few hours of mostly pleasant dreams.

The next morning Harry was in a much better mood the next morning thanks to his longer than normal sleep, he even decided that only half a dose of potion would be needed to get through the morning. Draco was waiting for him to get out of the bathroom again this morning, and half dragged the dark haired wizard up to the great hall. Harry did not want a repeat of yesterday and he hoped Draco had enough sense to keep his starstruck tendencies to himself. Draco wasn't normally this childish but Krum was literally his idol, the man was poetry in the air, and he just wanted to be as close to the Bulgarian seeker as he could possibly get.

Luckily for Krum he wasn't in the hall yet, but that wasn't so lucky for Harry as he now had the job of keeping his friend from exploding out of sheer anticipation. Normally it was Harry that ignored the food on the table in favor of other activities, today marked a turnabout of roles as it was Harry encouraging Draco to eat and prepare himself for the day.

It wasn't until the Hogwarts students had to start seriously thinking about getting to class before points were lost that Krum entered the hall for his breakfast. He had timed it just right that the majority of his fans would be forced into letting him eat in peace. Viktor nodded to Harry as he sat down at the table, and since he was oh so coincidentally sitting next to Draco Harry had to sit through the entire first period History of Magic class with the blond Malfoy chatting his ear off while they doodled on their parchment and made a few vague notes on what to study on their own time. They had long ago figured out trying to learn anything from Binns was not a very effective way of learning anything.

"Draco if I hear even one more sentence come out of your mouth that contains any of the words Viktor, Krum, Quidditch or Seeker I will seriously silence you for the rest of the week, including classes." Harry finally threatened after he just couldn't handle any more of the fawning. I mean seriously Draco was practically drooling over the guy. With that Harry got a thought, "With how much you talk about him it would seem you were in love with him or something."

"I do not!" Draco protested, "I just think he is really interesting, and good on a broom, and he has a cool accent and..."

"You are completely in love with the guy." Harry cut him off before he could continue on and jut dig himself a deeper hole.

"That's just not fair Harry!" Draco objected louder than before unintentionally drawing attention to their conversation.

Harry just shook his head sometimes he couldn't tell where Draco's mind was heading sometimes, was Viktor just another interest that Draco would obsess over for a few weeks and than relax, or was there really something deeper going on in the mind of the blond haired Slytherin. Even Harry had to admit all of Draco's comments held merit, it was just weird to hear them coming from the mouth of a Malfoy and not that of a raving fangirl.

Luckily for Harry Draco seemed to get the point and kept his opinions on Krum to himself for the rest of the morning. Although that small blessing probably had more to do with the test they had in transfiguration than any real desire to be quiet, but Harry wasn't looking a gift horse in the mouth.

For once Harry wasn't dreading lunch because there would be too many people, he was actually hoping their would be one significant extra person in the Hall with the Slytherins maybe if Draco got a good tongue lashing from Krum it would snap him out of the love struck puppy phase he had fallen into. It was just wrong to see his normally stoic friend nearly swoon when a single person walked by.

Lunch started out with a missing Durmstrang student and Harry hoped for Viktor's sake he chose to make the same move as he had with breakfast, but for Harry's sake he wanted Viktor to show up just for long enough to keep Draco satisfied. There was still fifteen minutes left before Herbology when a shadow came across the Slytherin table and Viktor calmly took the same seat he had the night before, although this time he was directly across from Harry not Draco.

"Did your classes go well?" The Bulgarian asked gruffly, though Harry kind of thought the gruffness waqs mearly caused by trying to pronounce the unfamiliar English words in a legible way.

"Very well, and how about your studies? Do the Durmstrang students study in our library or do you have resources available on the ship?" Harry asked curiously, academics was a safe enough topic even if his soft voice could barely be heard over the clatter of tableware.

"The Headmaster had been giving us short lessons when needed, but most of our time is spent in self-study." Krum replied, despite the accent he had a large English vocabulary probably because of his participation on an internationally acclaimed Quidditch team. Most matches between teams from different countries were commentated in English and interviews were mostly in English as well unless on their native soil.

"That sounds like a good system, especially for the upper levels like yourself. You can all work at your own pace which because your here I bet is on a pretty high level." Harry approved, still not speaking much louder than a whisper.

"Pardon me, but are you feeling alright? You sound like your throat is ailing you?" Viktor asked with concern as he remembered the Slytherin had spoken in a similar way the night before.

"I am feeling fine, I just don't have a loud voice. I draw enough attention to myself as it is, there is no need for the whole table to hear what I have to say." Harry replied, slightly louder, but still soft. He wasn't lying to Viktor but it wasn't the whole truth either.

"I can understand that, I was merely concerned," Viktor accepted Harry's answer seemingly without a second thought. There was no need to pry when he didn't know Harry very well yet.

He did take notice of the fact that while Harry was leaving the great hall for his next class he drank from a vial around his neck, that was something interesting. Not many people needed constant access to a potion. There were not many in existence that would require something like that. He also took notice of the blond who had been beside Harry the whole time, was it his imagination, or was the boy under some kind of charm that was cast not long after he sat down?


	19. Leave Me Alone

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

**Chapter Nineteen**

**Leave Me Alone  
**

"Harry what was that for? Why did you silence me?" Draco sputtered in his rage as Harry finally took off the spell once they were safely out of Viktor's presence.

"Can you honestly stand there and tell me you weren't going to make a fool of yourself by fawning over the poor guy? Couldn't you tell he was sick of all the people constantly bombarding him with questions about photos and autographs? You were talking about him so much during our first class I was tempted to silence you then. Once you can start talking about him like he is a normal person, than you can be trusted to be within ten feet of him and not make a fool out of yourself." Harry replied honestly, if not a bit harshly.

Draco winced at Harry's uncharacteristic bluntness, but he still refused to listen. "You don't know what would have happened, you had no right to stop me from speaking to him. It might not have turned out as bad as you think."

"Draco please just listen, I am not trying to get in your way, I am attempting to keep you from embarrassing yourself and loosing your chance at becoming his friend. Isn't that what you want, to be counted amongst his friends?" Harry defended himself feebly, he didn't like it when Draco was upset, it was even worse this time when he was the cause of it.

"Harry you can't fix everything, it isn't your job to babysit me, I can take care of myself!" Draco responded angrily, turning away from Harry and refusing to even acknowledge the brunette wizard's presence. He was too angry to back down right now, but he knew when he looked back the stricken look in Harry's emerald eyes was going to haunt him for a long time to come.

The rest of the class passed with agonizing slowness, Harry lost in his own private misery and Draco drowning in guilt, both too stubborn to admit it to each other. When the bell finally did ring Harry was the first to leave the classroom, heading straight for the library; even after all these years it was still the most comforting place he could think of.

With a silent nod to Madame Pince Harry ignored the small tables set up for the students to use and disappeared amongst the shelves, taking shelter in a back corner opposite the restricted section. He slid to the floor, sitting in the same position he had used as a child, and pulled a book off the shelf to his right at random. Since he was on the floor, and couldn't reach above the second shelf, he ended up with a second year herbology book open on his lap. The book was musty and old, looking like it hadn't been read in decades, but the words on the pages kept his attention away from the depressing thoughts his fight with Draco had left him with.

Hours passed and Harry heard nothing from the world around him, all he saw was the book in front of him. He let all his worries and sorrows melt away with the time. The rhythmic sound of his own breathing and the turning of the pages his only company. He relished in the rare silence, and wished he could afford to disappear like this more often. He knew his wish wouldn't happen, too many people would notice the missing Boy-Who-Lived and a search party would no doubt be established. With the next turn of the page he idly wondered when his absence would be noticed, yet he couldn't make himself care and returned to the more interesting than expected book.

He wasn't pulled away from his book until he heard someone come into the same isle of books that he was sitting in. He glanced up until he caught sight of the red Durmstrang uniform before turning back to his book hoping whoever it was would find what they were looking for and go away.

It just seemed like his luck had run out when the other student sat down next to him and spoke, it took Harry a second to recognize the heavily accented voice as Viktor's. "A lot of people are worried about you, even your Headmaster seemed concerned." Viktor informed him evenly, his voice getting more confidant the longer he spoke as he got used to the English words.

"I wondered when the search party would be sent out. How did you find me? Just how many people are looking?" Harry replied a bit grumpy at the thought of everyone's questions and stares when he eventually did reemerge back into the student body.

"It was easy to find you, this is a small school compared to Durmstrang and you have boundaries on where you are allowed to go after classes. Most of your school is searching, but have been looking out on the grounds and in the dungeons." Viktor admitted, not telling how he knew Harry wouldn't be in either place.

Harry just sighed before closing his book with a snap. "I just wanted some time alone! Why is it so hard for them to just leave me be? It isn't even curfew yet, there is no need for panic." His frustrated tone making Viktors heavy eyebrow rise a bit.

"They care for you, many just don't know how annoying it can be." Viktor openly admitted to the annoyance he often felt when he couldn't get a moment of peace.

"If people would just leave me alone, there would be a lot less to worry about." Harry murmured darkly, his arms now wrapped around his drawn up knees, the book laying at his side for now.

"I can go back to them and try to lead them in a different direction if you want a little more quiet time?" Viktor offered, surprising Harry enough he whipped his head up so fast his neck popped.

"You would really do that?" At Viktor's nod he seemed to consider it before answering, "No, they will find me soon anyway, and you could probably use a break too if my guess is right. If you don't mind reading in English there is plenty here to entertain you for a little while." Harry didn't know why he offered that to Viktor, but it seemed like the right thing to do after the Bulgarian had offered to lead the searchers astray.

Viktor smiled slightly before replying, "It would be nice to get some quiet time to study, even on the ship the small library we have gets loud with all of us in it." He accepted before standing up to scan the shelved books for an interesting title.

Harry left him to it, picking up the abandoned Herbology book, finding his place in it just as Viktor pulled his choice from the fifth self. The two wizards sat in a companionable silence, the subtle sounds of turning pages a comfort to them as they hid from the world.

**A/N **There are details in my profile my readers need to see, please visit it when you are done reading, thank you.


	20. Scream

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

**Chapter Twenty**

**Scream  
**

He couldn't breathe, his heart was racing and he felt his vision go dark. This couldn't be happening, there was no way this was real. He had to wake up now, this dream had become a nightmare. It was all wrong. Something had to be done to fix this. He felt the earth shift and it brought him to his knees, mind totally blanking as the realization came over him. Someone wanted him dead, and they were doing a damn fine job of it.

It started out simple. It was the night the champions for the tournament were picked. Draco and Harry still weren't on the best of terms over the Krum incident, so Harry had been sitting on his own waiting for the feast to be over and the names drawn. He hadn't even thought of entering his name, it would be too much for him and he knew it. He had a rough enough time just getting through a normal school day. He didn't know who he wanted to represent Hogwarts, but he was hoping Viktor would get the chance to compete. That day in the Library he had mentioned he wanted to compete in the tournament to prove he really was a good wizard and not just talented on a broom.

He was glad when he heard Viktor's name and cheered him on, and he clapped politely when Fleur Delacour was picked for her school. It wasn't until the time came for the Hogwarts champion to be called that things started to go horribly wrong. It was his name! Every set of eyes in the hall centered on him and he couldn't move. He didn't remember moving but he had somehow made it to the anti-chamber where the other two were waiting when the panic attack hit him.

He felt arms around him and heard calming words bringing him out of his panic. "Harry, come back to us. It will be alright come on, wake up. "Slowly, so slowly he wasn't sure it was really happening he opened his eyes and was met with Severus' worried gaze. "It will be ok, we will get this straightened out. Can you stand?"

Harry nodded weakly and carefully got to his feet. His first coherent words were,"I didn't put my name in the cup."

"Well someone did, and your trying to tell me a boy like you wouldn't have tried to put his own name in?" The Durmstrang headmaster asked Harshly, making Harry retreat into the safety of Severus' embrace.

"Igor, that's enough, can't you see the boy is frightened?" Dumbledore broke in trying to soothe rumpled feathers.

"Albus, there must be a way out of this, he is too young." Severus stuck up for his surrogate son.

"It is a magically binding contract, the cup has sealed it, he must compete or he loses his magic." Dumbledore replied sorrowfully.

Harry felt his heart break at that. "Please no, I can't do this, I never wanted this. Question me with any truth serum you have. I didn't make this contract. Please I don't want to die." He was begging and just next to tears.

"Is there really no choice?" Severus asked again, taking in the three heads of the schools.

"No, there isn't he must compete or face the consequences." Madame Maxime answered instead of Dumbledore.

Harry couldn't stop himself anymore, it was just too much to take, he cried into Severus' robes, knowing he was in front of the other champions and the heads of the schools. He couldn't stop, it hurt too much to try. He cried until he slept just like a child would and he was carried back down to his dorm room.

XxXxXxX

The following days were the hardest in his life. It was made survivable only because Draco was talking to him again and he had his library retreat. Draco had realized how badly Harry was going to need him when Severus had carried him into the room and explained what happened as he spelled Harry into nightclothes and bed. When Draco couldn't be with him, Harry went to the library. He was studying as much magic as he could not knowing what the tasks would be he was scared out of his mind.

Three days after his name was pulled from the cup, Viktor found him in the library as Harry has taken to avoiding meals altogether to get away from the stares. The Durmstrang student didn't head for the books but made a beeline for Harry. "We believe you." He said in his gruff voice before Harry could say anything to him.

Harry couldn't quite dare to hope, but asked anyway, "You mean you believe I didn't put my name in?"

"No I meant we, as in my headmaster and myself, I do not know about the others but we saw what happened in that room. You can't fake that kind of reaction. What I want to know, is if you didn't than who did?" Viktor replied.

"I would like to know that myself. We have no way of knowing, too many people crossed Dumbledore's age line to track down a single one that put a name other than their own in. I am just surprised you went out of your way to tell me that after I broke down like that, it must have looked pretty pathetic." Harry responded.

"I don't blame you. I also saw the attack your professor helped you come out of, if you were already sick I can understand how something like that would overwhelm a person." Viktor shrugged it off, not knowing he was one of the few people outside of the Hogwarts staff that has seen Harry have a panic attack. Draco was pretty much the only other one on that list.

"Thank you Viktor, it means a lot that people believe I didn't do this. I don't go looking for trouble, it just has a way of finding me wherever I go. This is just one time belief and proof of innocence means nothing when it comes to that infernal cup. I guess I will just have to learn as much as I can and try not to die." Harry replied honestly.

"Let me help you. I need someone to practice with and you need to learn so it would be a good match." Viktor offered.

"But I am so much younger than you, I would just drag you down." Harry confessed.

"Than you better work harder." Harry was surprised, because with that line it was the first time he had seen Viktor truly smile, and it was a nice change.


	21. Come Together

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

**A/N **You are going to have to suspend disbelief a little in this chapter regarding Viktor's comments. When he is thinking, please assume he is doing so in his native tongue, translated just for you. When he speaks though I cannot write his accent, I have never been good at accented dialogue, and I apologize for ruining the authenticity of his speech. **  
**

**Chapter Twenty-One**

**Come Together  
**

"Come on Harry, you can do this!" Viktor encouraged after yet another failed attempt at a sixth year level shielding charm. It was tricky to say, and the wand movement had a odd little twitch at the end that not only complicated the casting, but had a high tendency to make the wizard or witch casting it drop their wand. Harry had managed to hold onto his wand that time, but fumbled the last movement, the spell fizzled out before it had a chance to leave his wand.

Harry was tired, and a bit cranky at the time, they had been practicing for two hours already on top of his normal classes for the day. He had been trying to get this particular spell to work for the last twenty minutes with no more success than this try. It was fraying his nerves to say the least. "Argh! How many times am I going to have to do this!"

"You almost had it that time. This is advanced for you and will take time. There is no shame in you not getting this one without a few days practice, there is always magic that will take time to learn no matter who you are." Viktor lectured, surprisingly patient with the frustrated Slytherin. He had proven to be a good teacher, and when Harry called him on it, he simply brushed it off by saying it helped him review the spells himself while teaching them to Harry. Though he had to admit he was surprised at how much Harry already knew, Harry's habit of hiding in the library had definitely helped his theoretical magic knowledge, they were mainly working on practical now.

Harry just sighed and got ready for another try, he knew there was no use arguing, Viktor was right. He just wanted this whole stupid tournament over with already, but it wasn't even time for the first task yet. Viktor had shared with him privately that Headmaster Karkaroff knew where the first task was going to be held, a large arena was being built inside the Dark Forest. Karkaroff was trying to find out what would be put in the arena with them, but so far he hadn't found the answer. Just telling Viktor, and by extension Harry, to practice as many dueling charms as they could find, as well as general purpose subduing charms for magical creatures just in case.

When Viktor had first started passing on information from the Durmstrang headmaster, Harry had been worried for Viktor's safety. It seemed like it would be dangerous for Viktor to help another champion in the tournament. Viktor had simply replied that he knew for a fact he wasn't in any danger from his Headmaster. Harry had taken it on faith to mean Karkaroff had allowed Viktor to tell him things, but knew the other side of the coin meant even if the headmaster didn't approve of it, Viktor thought he could overcome the Headmaster's displeasure one way or another.

When Harry's next three attempts at casting the spell didn't improve, Viktor called a stop to the practice session. "That is enough for today, you need to rest for now." He had been keeping a sharp eye on the younger wizard, knowing the high level spells were going to drain his reserves quicker then he was used to, they had time to work on stamina, the goal now was to keep him healthy. It hadn't taken long for Viktor to realize Harry was trying to cover up an illness of some kind. He couldn't quite tell what it was, but something was definitely wrong with the smaller boy. He had seen a few more panic attacks being suppressed, and the vial around Harry's neck had caught his eye a few times. The vial was a curious thing, at first glance it didn't appear to be anything another than an oddly shaped stone in a light blue color, and it had taken him awhile to figure out it was indeed a vial of some kind filled with a potion he didn't recognize even in his seventh year.

"I can keep going!" Harry protested the prescribed rest.

"I know you can, for awhile anyway, but you shouldn't drain yourself completely in practice. You will be able to practice longer as we go on and your stamina grows, but if you are exhausted there is no way of defending yourself from an attack. A person in your position cannot afford to leave themselves vulnerable for no reason. In fact after each task I highly recommend you stay close to friends until your magic builds back up." Viktor tried to soothe the ruffled Slytherin, knowing Harry had to be dead tired if he was protesting anything he was told to do. Normally Harry followed along with any commands, no matter how they were worded, without hesitation.

Harry reluctantly started to gather his things, the two of them had found an empty classroom to practice in after classes and had been coming there every evening after dinner. They would practice until they got tired, though not always working on the same spell Viktor usually started off by showing Harry something new and then moving on to his own practice. It had worked out for them so far, and Harry was slowly advancing in skill in the reletively short time they had started doing this.

"Harry when you go back to your dorm, could you please tell your friend Draco that he can come practice with us a couple times a week? I think it would be good for you to duel against him a few times before you try to duel me. You are doing well but we are still only skimming the surface of the spells you will learn in the next few years. Fighting me wouldn't be fair to you until you have had some real practice." Viktor explained as they left the classroom together.

"I will ask him, as long as you know what you are in for, he practically worships you." Harry warned, knowing Draco would be angry with him, again, for saying that but figuring it was better to warn Viktor. "Though really me having to compete in this tournament in the first place isn't fair so hearing you talk about fairness is appreciated, but mostly unnecessary.

"I know, but I think he is intelligent enough to figure out the truth for himself if he spent some time with us. Its happened before with others. Also just because you are stuck in an unfair situation doesn't mean those helping you should add to it." Viktor replied before he heard someone come up behind them and get their attention.

"Hello Harry, Mr. Krum, sorry to interrupt you two, but could I have a word with you Harry?" Harry smiled at his old friend Porfessor Sinistra as the dark haired professor haled them for further down the hall.

"Hi, Professor, we were just finishing up, if you could give me a moment to say goodbye we can talk." Harry agreed with the invitation before turning to Viktor. "I will talk to Draco tonight, and I will see you tomorrow, so for now good night."

Viktor replied, "Goodnight Harry, have a nice evening Professor." He acknowledged the Hogwarts teacher with a tip of his head before striding off down the corridor towards the Entrance hall and out to the Durmstrang ship.

"I didn't know you were friends with the Durmstrang champion?" Adam commented as Harry took up pace beside him, heading back up towards Adam's office near the astronomy tower.

"He supported me after my name came out of the cup. We are preparing for the tournament together. So far its been going ok, but there is so much magic I need to catch up on. I don't think I could do this if I hadn't already been reading ahead all these years. There simply isn't enough time to do justice to my homework and practice as much as I need to in order to catch up, if I had to do all the research on top of that I would probably collapse." Harry has long since relaxed around this professor, he was able to talk to him easily now. Though he may not have admitted the strain he was under if he wasn't so tired.

"Just remember no one can run on empty forever you are going to need to rest. Are you and your friend at least taking one day off a week from your practicing?" Adam asked, concerned for Harry, but knowing how tough and stubborn he could be the Professor thought he would come out of this alright.

"Yes, we don't practice on Sundays, that is our day for catching up on school work and letting our magic recuperate, and he never lets us practice for too long at night. Like tonight for example I didn't want to stop yet, but he made me see reason. I like working with him." Harry confessed with a hardly noticeable blush.

Adam saw the reaction, but held back on questioning Harry further about Viktor, if it was what he thought it was than it was up to Harry to figure it out anyway. "So what did he want you to talk to Draco about? I heard you telling him you would."

"Oh, he thinks it would be fairer to me if I practiced dueling with Draco, rather than himself for awhile. He wants me to ask Draco to some with us during our practices a couple times a week. When we are in private I am probably going to have to scrape Draco off the ceiling after I tell him." Harry remarked drily.

"For someone normally so collected, are you finding it as amusing as I do that he has such a big soft spot for Mr. Krum?" Adam asked with a smile just trying to imagine the aloof Slytherin's reacting like Harry described.

"I do find it amusing," Harry admitted, "But I know it will get annoying for Viktor so I hope Draco calms down around him sooner or later. I think Draco and Viktor would really get along once Draco starts seeing him as a person not a celebrity." Harry was now curled up in one of the comfortable chairs in Professor Sinistra's office. Harry felt bad that he hadn't had much time for the man since the year started, but was fairly certain he had an airtight excuse with the tournament and everything.

"So Harry how are you doing? I know all this can't be easy to deal with." Adam inquired gently.

Harry sighed and ran a hand down his face, his eyes tired behind his glasses, "Its been ridiculously hard. I had been able to cut back on doses of my potion, but lately I have been taking more. I still haven't taken as much as Professor Snape has told me I could, but I am worried that someday I am going to run out of potion and I will be totally on my own. Its not a good feeling. I think Viktor suspects something, but I thought that might happen with all the time we spend together now. I just hope he either doesn't figure it out, or doesn't mind it when he does."

"With all the time he is spending on helping you, I doubt he will be upset with you over this. If you explain it to him, he will probably understand why you chose to hide your condition. He might even be worried it is something worse like a physical ailment. I wonder if maybe you told him, if he wouldn't be able to help you out of rough situations. With all this stress on you it might not be a bad idea to have a few extra sets of eyes watching over you." He tried to voice his concern to Harry, without appearing to coddle. When Harry had replied the solution of having Viktor help Harry had jumped out at him.

"I will think about it, but for now I think I need ot head for bed, I am really tired." Harry excused himself.

"Alright, goodnight, and I really do think it would be a good idea to tell him." Adam got up and opened the door letting Harry leave his office, wondering if maybe he should follow the tired Slytherin back to his dorm, but decided Harry could get back on his own. He had made many trips between the dungeons and this office before in varying states of alertness he would be fine.

Harry started his lonely way down to the Slytherin common room, intending to talk to Draco and then get into bed. He was about half way there when he felt someone else come up behind him on the stairwell, he tensed as usual, but passing it off as another student he kept going.

It wasn't until he felt two strong hands pushing on his shoulders that he realized how wrong he was, and the next thing he knew, air was whizzing passed his face and he wondered when he was going to land.


	22. Cinderella Stay Awhile

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

**A/N: **I am sorry for the delay in updating, I have not forgotten or given up on my stories. I have been dealing with severe pain and searching for an oral surgeon, I'm still recovering from getting five teeth pulled (four wisdom teeth and one molar) but I felt it has been way too long since I have written and I'm looking forward to being back. When I left off with a cliffhanger last time I was expecting two or three weeks between updates, not four months. I am truly sorry, I hope this is good enough to make you not give up on me. **  
**

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

**Cinderella Stay Awhile**

Harry was floating on air, no notion of time or location, the only thing he was aware of was the pain. Flaring from flesh and bones, there was no relief. No bit of himself that anchored him to reality, or let him know he would be alright. The all consuming fire caught his breath and his chest, halted the beating of his heart, and forced him to retreat into the blackness of unconsciousness, without a clue as to what happened to him.

XXXXXX

Luna Lovegood was a very strange girl. No one quite knew what to think of her. She had a quick mind, but was prone to flights of fancy that lasted for hours or even days. Many things were seen by her that others just plain didn't. She was labeled Loony Lovegood, and treated like the house guinea pig. Every Ravenclaw worth their badge has spent time speaking with Luna, hoping they would finally be the one to crack the case and find the answer, only to storm away in frustration days later, no progress being made. Not many cared they were causing even more ridicule to fall on to the odd girl after they had run out of theories. Now in her third year she had come to expect the teasing and thievery of her classmates. She found a bit of relief in the form of her head of house who did what he could to reduce the stress and pain of Luna. It got to the point where a few times a week she would go and speak to Flitwik in his office, telling him both the latest torment the tower had come up with, and explaining all the odd creatures and thoughts that came into her head.

Luna's perceived madness was both her curse and her blessing, it caused her pain, but without it she would have no escape from the torment at all. She didn't want to give up the interesting things she saw, or go into denial and never speak about them. These things were as real to her as green grass or blue skies, and her visions never hurt anyone, she wondered why people didn't just listen and enjoy the story. She hadn't been gullible enough to hope for someone to believe her that these things were real since her first year.

She was walking back from one of her talks with Flitwik, she had reported the stolen Charms book and informed him of the Durgourts infesting the professor's desk that ate his quills and rearranged the papers out of their neat stacks and into a chaotic mess, when she saw something crumpled into a heap on the fourth floor landing. At first she assumed someone had lost their cloak in the rush of leaving classes, and was about to pass it by thinking the owner would come back for it once it was found to be missing, when she caught sight of something red on the stone floor of the landing. It wasn't Gryffindor red, so she couldn't explain it away by being a student's tie, and it was spread in an odd shape that suggested it was a liquid. She really got nervous when she realized the pool of red liquid was turning brown at the edges, one thing came to mind instantly, blood.

When Luna got closer and saw the blood was spreading out from a fellow student she did the first thing that came to mind. She screamed. And Screamed. And kept screaming. It got the attention of a passing ghost who zoomed away far quicker than a human could run to fetch the nurse.

By the time Madame Pomfrey arrived with Professor McGonagall, who had been in the infirmary checking on a Gryffindor injured in class, the pool of blood had spread further out from the students body. Luna had screamed herself hoarse and was sitting uncharacteristically still staring at the crumpled form of the injured student. As Madame Pomfrey quickly magicked the injured boy onto a stretcher, Professor McGonagall went over to check on the Ravenclaw girl. The teachers all knew about the tragedy in Luna's past involving her mother's death, and the Gryffindor head of house was concerned that seeing the hurt Slytherin might have uncovered some horrible memories in the young girl.

"Minerva, you should see who this is." Poppy called to her old friend and colleague after getting him situated on the stretcher, they both knew exactly who this boy was.

"Oh no, Harry! What do you think happened?" Minerva asked as they started to rush Harry down to the infirmary, she was at least mindful enough to make sure Luna was docilely following them down to the hospital wing, she would need to be looked over as soon as they got Harry stabilized.

Pomfrey didn't reply for a few minutes, she was busy using her power as the school nurse to order the stairs to behave and create the shortest distance between her and the Hospital wing, an ability critical in cases like this, and had been available to all the school medi-witches and wizards since the enchanted stairs were put in place. When she was done she answered the question, "If I had to guess I would say he fell down the stairs and tried to catch himself, the blood is coming from a badly broken leg, thankfully, not his head. I have no idea what caused him to fall or from where. Once Miss Lovegood comes around maybe she can tell us more." In her rush to tend Harry, she hadn't completely overlooked Luna, but as the girl looked shocked but not hurt Harry was by far the priority.

As soon as they reached the Infirmary Poppy started casting diagnostic spells. The broken leg was only the visible injury, there were many others. His knee and ankle on the other leg were broken along with torn ligaments and tendons, and his right hip had been dislocated. Harry must have tried to catch himself with his arms after his legs gave out because there was extensive damage to his wrists and shoulders, along with whiplash in his neck and skull. As close as Pomfrey could tell Harry must have fallen at least three floors to cause the bone and muscle damage he had, and it was sheer luck he had landed on his feet. Even with all the damage to his extremities, he was still lucky, if he had landed other ways they would be looking at massive internal bleeding at least, or at worst he could have hit his head or neck. Harry's brain and spinal cord had been mercifully spared, but it was a very close call, a few discs in his back had been harmed in the fall, but even that was an easier fix than nerve damage.

"Minerva, call Albus and Severus, Albus is going to need to summon an emergency team from St. Mungos, Harry is more injured than I can handle even with Severus and yourself helping me. Severus is going to need to bring every potion he has brewed for me, I know he has some down there waiting to be brought up, we are going to need all the options available, the fresher the better." Poppy ordered after discovering the extent of the wounds. She started worked on cleaning out the open wound even before Minerva had left to follow her directions.

Minerva saw the grave expression on the Headmaster's face as he accepted the Medi-witch's orders to fetch healers from the hospital. Albus may be 150 years old, but he could still move very fast when the situation called for it. His was not an unexpected reaction. When Minerva floo-called Severus she was not expecting the deathly pale, just next to panicked, look of Severus' face at hearing Harry was hurt. If she thought Albus had moved quickly she was badly mistaken, he might as well have been a tortoise for how quickly Severus started gathering things up to help Harry. As she disconnected the call she was surprised at him. She knew he didn't hate Harry, all the staff knew that, but she wasn't prepared for the extent. He had dropped his guard in front of her of all people, he had still been a student at school the last time she had seen him so discomposed.

It wasn't even five minutes later that he arrived at the Infirmary, which meant the Potions Master had to be practically running to get there. She was in the middle of handing Luna a Calming potion, one of the only things she could do as Harry was too hurt for her to be much use, when he arrived looking like the hounds of Hell had been snapping at his feet. He hadn't looked that bad after his run in with Hagrid's pet Cerberus in Harry's first year.

"What happened to him?" He asked the Gryffindor witch as he didn't want to disturb Poppy's efforts to stabilize Harry long enough for the St. Mungos team to arrive.

"He fell down the stairs Severus, we still don't know why, but Miss Lovegood here was the one to find him." Minerva explained quickly, knowing Severus didn't have the patience for conjecture right now, he wanted facts. "He must have fallen a pretty far way to get in this shape, do you know where he was coming from, or going to? That might help figure out how far he fell."

"I'm not sure, he has been practicing for the Tournament in an unused classroom, but I saw his sparring partner leave the castle at least two hours ago, surely he couldn't have been laying there for that long." Severus answered, pulling himself back together as the rush of adrenaline steadied and he focused on the problem.

"Um, Professors I don't think he fell." Her voice was weak and distant, there was no trace of her normally whimsical voice, the calming potion overlaying the shock had smoothed her voice out.

Severus looked at the girl like she was an alien creature, he admittedly hadn't paid much attention to her before. She wasn't in his house and was a middle of the road brewer, she didn't give him much cause to keep close tabs on her. Now she might be the key to figuring out what happened to Harry, even though she just refuted the current theory of how he got hurt. "What do mean? If you know something about this speak up." He ordered, holding back his most caustic tone, she would be no use if he shocked her back to silence.

"He didn't land right to have fallen," She started to say, unsure of how to handle her volatile professor, now that she was calm and thinking straight a few things had hit her about how he was laying. "He was turned around in a way that made me think he was pushed and had looked to see who it was." She didn't feel like telling them she knew what it looked like when something like that happened because it had happened to her the prior year, granted it had been a much shorter fall, but it still looked familiar.

"Severus, she may have a point, Harry is shy but I have never noticed him being clumsy. You know him better as his Head of House, is this something Harry is likely to do by accident?' Minerva asked, though she would be denied an answer as the medical team from St. Mungos arrived as she finished the question.

Severus rushed off to provide whatever assistance he could, and Minerva stayed back with Luna, also looking over to make sure her Gryffindor patient was still in a potion induced sleep. There was likely to be a story about this in the Prophet do to the St. Mungos healers being summoned, but better an official story then a student started rumor. Having nothing to do but wait and worry she spoke with Luna, not ready to let the girl leave before someone had looked her over. Calming potions masked shock, but didn't necessarily stop the damage, and there was trauma present before the potion had been administered.

"Thank you Miss. Lovegood, you did a good job getting help. I know that must have been hard for you to see, but I thank you, and I know Harry will be grateful to you when he learns who found him. I am awarding 100 points to Ravenclaw for helping a fellow student, and Professor Snape may add onto that as Mr. Potter is from his house. Also your idea of this being cause by foul-play is worth considering and you can be assured it will be investigated. I do not think it would be a good idea to let you leave without someone checking you over, so would you prefer to get some rest away from all this, or stay with me and watch? Your choice." McGonagall offered, not sure which offer would be better for Luna, sleep helped a body deal with trauma, but staying up and seeing Harry be healed might be the better option since seeing him injured caused the shock.

"I want to watch for a little while, then maybe I will be able to sleep," Luna replied in her not-quite-all-there voice. She was feeling intimidated by her Transfiguration Professor, normally Flitwik was the only teacher to pay much attention to 'Loony' Lovegood. She felt herself slipping back to her normal dreamy expression and voice as her shyness increased. She couldn't help it.

The girl's almost casual tone caused McGonagall to raise an eyebrow in surprise, but recognizing the coping mechanism for what it was, she didn't get too upset thinking Luna didn't care. Not wanting to push the issue she let Luna watch in silence, and didn't try to strike up another conversation. Hearing the rumors floating around about this student's oddities was one thing, dealing with it was something else. Her lions used bravado to cover fear, this dream state was quite a departure from normality for her.

XXXXX-Normally I would stop there, but I feel so bad about the long wait I am giving a bonus length chapter-XXXXXX

It took hours for the healers to get Harry back into a semblance of good shape. They were good at their jobs, and had the best Potion's Master in Britain at their disposal. Their collective minds were able to come up with the correct combination of potions and spells that would heal Harry, but not cause him to overdose on any one ingredient. Severus was highly relieved he had been a part of this process, he was still the only brewer to know the ingredients in Harry's special potion, he hadn't wanted to patent it until Harry told him it was alright. The moment the potion's effects were on record there was one more way people could find out what was wrong with Harry and he didn't want that. Severus had felt a little twinge of guilt when he first made the choice not to publish the potion, a lot of people suffered from this, but Harry was by far his biggest priority and deepest weak spot. As far as Severus was concerned the rest of the magical population could wait, Harry was more important.

Finally the Healers were able to stand back, satisfied Harry would pull through, and it was just a matter of waiting until Harry woke up. From this point Madame Pomfrey could comfortably care for Harry. The hospital healers left with care instructions, and orders that if any negative change happened they would be contacted immediately. It was now in Father Time's hands to tell when Harry would wake up. Only then would they be able to figure out which potions Harry would need in the long term.

Harry woke up slowly over the next forty-eight hours. He would have brief moments of consciousness, then go back to sleep for hours. His body was using up all its energy to heal himself, magically and physically. He never once woke up to find himself completely alone, even before his first awakening he had a steady stream of visitors keeping him company. So far he hadn't remembered things from one awakening to the next, but that was about to change.

Adam sat with Harry during the day while Severus was teaching, Poppy and Albus were also attending to their other duties, giving him a rare chance to be alone with Harry. He was almost as attached to the boy as Severus was, but it seemed like this year that attachment had faded to the background due to the tournament. He was still beating himself up for not walking Harry back to his dorm the night of the accident. While it hadn't been completely proven to be caused by foul-play, it was looking less and less like an accident as the investigation continued. Plus, even if it had just been a simple fall brought on by exhaustion he should have still been there to catch him.

He was still thinking about these things when he noticed Harry's breathing change, it looked like he might be waking up again. His hopes were confirmed as Harry squinted his eyes in the light and lightly croaked, "Water," not being able to force further words or politeness into the statement through his dried out throat.

Adam carefully helped him sip out of the glass of water they had taken to having ready for him at all times. Every time Harry woke up he would need a drink, it was easier to keep it on hand for the times he was only awake for a few minutes. After a few sips Harry rested back against the pillow, done with the water for now. "Harry how are you feeling?" Adam asked, hoping to get an answer before Harry succumbed to sleep again.

"Sore," Harry answered softly, the water helped, but he was still very weak. "What happened?" He inquired tentatively, for the first time since the accident.

"You were in an accident, you fell down a few flights of stairs. Do you remember anything at all about it?" Adam asked, not wanting to lead him into saying he was pushed if he wasn't, it was better to let Harry tell it the way he remembered.

Harry tried to think through the aching soreness, only coming up with vague images, "I remember hearing something behind me, I think I might have turned?" Harry started hesitantly, more questioning than answering, but at least he was talking. "I felt something heavy hit my shoulders, hands? A spell? I don't know. I remember air, feeling like I was floating. Then I just remember pain and fuzzy images. How long have I been here? Have I woken up before?" He was frustrated with his failing memory, and felt it was time for a subject shift.

Adam suppressed his anger at having their suspicions of someone pushing him confirmed, "You have been here for two days. You have woken up a few times before this but didn't seem to remember anything from one awakening to the next. Your body and magic has went through a lot, and it is pulling most of your energy to heal you. Sleep was the best thing for you."

"Alright," Harry half groaned from a fresh wave of pain as he tried to sit up, but decided against it when it hurt too much. "How badly was I hurt? Who found me?"

"The worst damage was to your legs, everything else has been healed up completely, the soreness is a left over from the muscle strain. Your legs will take a few more days to fully re-align, they were broken pretty badly, and with everything else in your system the healers had to be careful how much medicine they gave you. How much of this conversation do you think you will remember?" Adam asked curiously, wondering if he was still groggy or fuzzy, which meant most of this would need to be retold.

"I'm sore, and a bit tired, but I feel mostly alert." Harry responded with the truth, unlike the last few times he woke up, the longer he stayed awake the more alert he was becoming. It seemed like his body was finally allowing him to participate in the world for a little while. "You didn't answer my other question by the way, who found me?"

"Oh right, sorry," Adam apologized for letting his curiosity get the better of him. "Luna Lovegood found you, a third year Ravenclaw." Adam added on the description when the name alone seemed to draw a blank with Harry.

"The girl with bright blond hair, a fascination with magical creatures, and odd taste in jewelry?" Harry asked remembering a Ravenclaw he thought was named Lovegood spending a lot of time in the Magical Creatures section of the Library. He had noticed her nearly white blond hair at almost the same moment he had seen her radish earrings. He hadn't spoken with her personally before.

"That sounds like her, yes." Adam replied, knowing the girl from class and he had noticed the earrings himself.

"I will have to thank her when I get out of here." Harry responded, his voice getting a bit stronger, but having never been loud he was still hard to hear at times. "Speaking of getting out of here, when can I go?" Harry did not have an abiding fondness for the medical wing. His various misadventure had made him wary of the place even with the kindness of the nurse.

"Well, Madame Pomfrey is going to want to look you over, and I doubt you will be leaving before your bones are completely set. If you're really good, they might let you out after the bones set but when you are still hurting a bit if you are good about taking the potions they tell you to." Adam explained to him what would happen to the best of his knowledge.

Harry by now was wanting to save his strength for when Madame Pomfrey got there told Adam as much and lent back into the pillows. He didn't go back to sleep yet, but he was on the edges of it. Adam took that as a que to go summon the medi-witch and Severus so the two could look him over while he was still alert. Harry had been quite vocal about his opinion of the hospital wing on previous trips, a prolonged stay would not be fun.

The exam didn't take long, Harry had been monitored for his whole stay, so it was mainly getting confirmation and second opinions about his pain and level of healing. Harry was glad to learn he only had another two or three days before his bones were sturdy again, but there was a down side.

"Harry, I'm sorry to tell you this but there is a bit of bad news." Severus was the one to talk to him, even for the new Severus he was being surprisingly gentle.

"What is it?" Harry asked, worrying there might be permanent damage, or something would stop him from competing in the first task making him forfeit his magic.

Severus knew what Harry must be thinking, and he would too in Harry's position, but Severus was afraid his news might be even worse. "You are going to have to make a choice. You will need to either use crutches or a cane to go up and down stairs for awhile, drawing attention to yourself, or we could give you enough pain killing potions even the cane wont be necessary. There is a catch though." Severus was having trouble just saying it, and Harry was the only person he had ever found himself in that position for.

Harry was not stupid, there was only one thing that could make Severus so reluctant. "My potion, I won't be able to take it will I?" He asked hesitantly.

"No," Severus confirmed, "The ingredients in the painkiller will interact badly with the main ingredient in the potion I made you. There isn't another painkiller that is strong enough to kill the pain, but not so strong you can't function in class. Remember you have the choice, I won't make you do one or the other." Severus offered.

"It isn't much of a choice," Harry replied tiredly, slipping back against the pillow, slowly talking it out. "I could handle a cane, that isn't the problem. The problem will come when the other students wonder why I have that and not the pain potion. After all this is Hogwarts, if there is a magical solution, it should be taken right? It will cause questions and whispers I'm not ready to deal with. We both know my potion can only go so far, it helps, but if attention on me is increased too much it can't help enough. If I do take the pain killer I will be vulnerable to panic attacks, but I wont appear to be different. I might slip away without too much added pressure."

Here Severus had to stop him, "Harry the school knows you have been in a bad accident, we had to call in a team from St. Mungos and it got reported to the prophet. The students will know you have been hurt either way, its just which side of the coin you want to deal with." It was better to tell Harry about that now, than to have him find out the hard way.

"So there will be additional strain either way, but there will also be a big mystery if I chose the cane." Harry wasn't happy with where his thoughts were leading, but it was sounding more and more like the best way. "I think I know what I need to do. I'm going to need help to get through it, but in the long run I think it would be better to go without the potion and lean on my friends when people get to be too much than to invite more trouble and have the whole school find out I'm sick."

"I thought you might say that," Severus agreed softly, steeling himself up to help his ward through the rough times ahead. "Harry you have all of us in this room, and many friends out side of it, we will be here for you when you need us. You will not fight alone. Together we will get you through this."

Harry was skeptical of this, he remembered how bad it was before the potion, now with the added stress of the Prophet article, the Tournament, and the accident he wasn't sure how he was going to get through it all. He really didn't want everyone to know he was sick, but his prospects looked bleak. It would come down to choosing the right people to tell, giving them enough information to help him. Now he just had to figure out.

How much was too much information?

A/N Harry is at the age I wanted him to start healing without the potion in his system, from this point on I want him to only take the potion when he absolutely needs it to function. This will let me describe both what this disorder feels like while medicated (there are a few options out there, some work better than others), and while fighting on his own. This will give me room to bring together the friendships I have planted, and start to deepen the relationship between him and Viktor, there will still be some time before any citrus shows up in this story, but love will be in here soon. Or at least very advanced affection.


	23. Another Part of Me

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

**Another Part of Me**

Harry was released from the hospital wing already feeling the diminished effect of his potion. While it had required constant reapplication to function at its highest capacity, it was still stored up enough in his system he had rarely ever gone without it completely. Severus had told him it would take about a week for the lingering effects to disappear. He had advised Harry to tell a few people about his problem, and explain what he might need his friends to cover for in the case of an emergency.

Harry was not happy with the idea. He had spent so much time hiding his problem outright telling someone about it was going to be difficult. If Harry was being honest with himself he doubted even Draco would know about it if it wasn't for the other boy already knowing what to look for. Harry hadn't told Draco, he found out on his own and slowly got Harry to talk about it. Choosing who to tell was even more difficult. He was well liked in the house yes, but that didn't mean he had a lot of friends. Draco was really the only person he allowed that close to him. Well that used to be the case anyway, now he wasn't so sure.

Viktor's name had come up more than once. The older wizard had been helping him a lot this year, and they had an understanding between each other few others would ever achieve. The pressure of a fame they just wanted a break from. It was a rare breed that had the talent and skill needed to be famous, and yet not like the fame once they achieved it. The time the two had spent together training had only brought more similarities between them to light. Harry knew Viktor would be the best choice to tell, but that didn't mean he was rushing to tell him. How much respect was he going to loose in the proud Bulgarian wizard when he learned Harry was afraid of his own shadow?

He was running out of time rapidly before he got the courage to talk to Viktor about his problem. He had been able to track down the Durmstrang wizard in the same place they had come to know each other better in, the library. He had been reading through a book on spells designed to confuse and slow down an attacker when Harry found him sitting at an out of the way table near the restricted section.

"Viktor, can I talk to you for a bit in private? I don't really want anyone to hear what I have to say?" Harry inquired, his voice quiet even compared to his normal soft tone.

Viktor nodded, and asked in reply, "Do you want to find somewhere else to talk, or would you be alright if I put up a ward?" It was hard for him to speak softly with his gruff voice, but he attempted to moderate it so Harry would be more comfortable.

"I think a ward would be enough," Harry responded, a bit ashamed he hadn't thought of the possibility himself. He could silence a single person, but a ward was still a bit too advanced for him.

Viktor quickly complied with the request, with Harry observing his actions carefully so when he got a few moments spare time he could practice it. When the ward was in place both wizard's relaxed into the privacy and settled in to talk. "What do you need to talk about? Did something go wrong with your healing?" Viktor was concerned about that after hearing an admittedly watered down account of the accident from Harry. He wanted to know the true extent of the injuries but contented himself with the little the younger wizard had told him.

"No, everything is healing just fine, I'm just dealing with the aftereffects now, and that is what I need to talk about. First of all you need to know this really isn't easy for me to talk about, but I'm kinda stuck without a choice in the matter." Harry confessed cautiously, before finally revealing what he had been hiding for so long. "Do you remember when my name came out of the cup and I had an attack that Professor Snape helped me come out of?"

"Yes, its not something I'm likely to forget." Viktor answered, hoping he would finally get an answer to the mystery.

"Well, that wasn't the first of those kind of attacks I have had, by quite a bit truthfully. What you saw was a panic attack, which I'm assuming you or Karkoroff figured out by now, and Severus and I know how to deal with them because I have a disorder that causes me to have them frequently. When I was first brought to Hogwarts it came to his attention that something wasn't quite right with me. He hadn't yelled or harmed me at all, I barely knew him from Merlin, but as soon as he touched my shoulder to Apparate us to Diagon Alley I had a panic attack and collapsed. When I woke up he had dosed me with a Calming potion and was able to question me. With my answers to his questions, and his own experience dealing with a similar case, he was able to find out the truth. I have something called Social Anxiety Disorder, have you ever heard of it?" Harry found once he started talking, it was extremely difficult to stop, only managing it when he got to the point he might confuse Viktor going any further.

Viktor was glad to finally have an answer, even though he wasn't very familiar with the problem. "I have heard it mentioned before, but I don't really know much about it." He admitted.

Harry wasn't surprised at that, it wasn't uncommon, but not many people suffering from it wanted, or was able, to talk about it. "It basically means that I have an extreme fear of crowds, and the term 'crowd' can apply to three people in a stressful situation, and it doesn't always matter if I know the people or not. Strangers definitely make the situation worse, but even in Slytherin house where I am generally well liked there are moments I feel overcrowded and fearful."

"Alright, I can understand that much but may I ask a couple questions?" Viktor was curious but didn't know how much Harry wanted to tell him, or why he was telling him in the first place all of a sudden.

Harry was nervous about which questions he would be asked, but figured he had told this much, might as well keep going. "You can ask questions, but for some I can't, or won't, be able to answer." He bargained.

"That is fine, I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Viktor responded, before asking his questions. "What about people makes you afraid of them? How is it that you have this, and don't worry I believe you, but you are able to deal with the fame around you and keep this a secret? Don't people notice when you have an attack like you did that day in the Champions room?"

"It is hard to explain exactly what makes me afraid, it isn't always the same feeling every time, and different situations cause different fears. For the most part I'm afraid of what people could possibly do to me, be that physical harm, or embarrassment. If I'm in a crowded situation and the people are Professors or another type of person I respect I'm sometimes afraid I have done something wrong and caused them to be ashamed of me. A few times I have had a panic attack and there was no specific fear, just pure terror and a deep desperation to get away from everyone." Harry did his best to answer the first question, it wasn't easy to pin point the problems, fear was fear in a lot of cases.

"The answer to how I was able to hide it, is also the reason I needed to tell you now. Severus had already begun to design a potion to minimize the effects of the disorder due to a friend in Hogwarts who dealt with it too and when he first found out what the problem was with me he he went back to those notes finishing the potion for me. That potion has kept me from having too many panic attacks in front of the other students, when I do have the odd attack Draco, Severus, or Professor Sinistra is usually around and they know what is wrong and can help me hide it. The problem I am having now is with the accident I had I'm going to be on some pain potions for awhile to get around the castle without a cane. I can't take the pain potions at the same time as my other potion, and I chose to take the pain potions and avoid a cane that would cause too many questions. Without my potions I'm going to be dealing with my full Disorder and I am going to need some extra help hiding the panic attacks that are more than likely going to start occurring more frequently." Harry knew if he had stopped at any point responding to that question, he wouldn't have been able to finish so he soldiered on and got it out.

"Harry, were you afraid to tell me this because you thought I would either not believe you, or not help you at all?" Viktor wondered after realizing how hard this was on Harry to tell him about all this, and to ask for help on top of that.

"I was afraid I would loose your respect being so afraid all the time." Harry confessed.

Viktor shouldn't have been surprised at that answer after all he had learned about Harry. "This isn't your fault, and I know that. I can tell by your reluctance to confide in me and others that you don't like or chose to be this way. I will help you with this like I have been doing for the tournament. Also, and I will only do this with your permission, I can have a word with my Headmaster about this and see if we can't get a few more eyes looking out for you."

"It was hard enough telling you, I'm not sure I want more people to know, but I'm willing to bet if Severus knew I passes up the chance for more safety he would have my hide. I don't know much about your Headmaster, but if _you_ trust him to be discreet about this, than yes you may tell him. I will let you know that so far I have managed to keep my own Headmaster from knowing about this, at least no more than he could observe on his own, so I would appreciate it if this information did not get back to him, good intentions or not." Harry finally answered after a bit of thought on Viktor's offer.

"Don't worry Harry, you will be taken care of, I trust my Headmaster. He has his problems, but he does care about the students, I don't see why he wouldn't help you out, and respect your wish to keep it quiet." Viktor assured, and in a move that surprised Harry, he hugged the younger wizard. It was short and soft, but it was a hug none-the-less and Harry couldn't help but think he liked it.

At the time it didn't occur to Harry to wonder why he wasn't at least a bit nervous about the hug, but in the trying times to come he would look back on the moment and smile.


	24. Carousel

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

**A/N **The explanation for my long absence is written in my profile for those interested in knowing what has been keeping me from my writing lately. The events that happened will effect this story a bit, as this one is based off personal experience and the last few months have changed me greatly, this story will morph with me. The plot is the same, the ending will be somewhat different than I had planned though.

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

**Carousel**

Harry's heart was racing. His body stood stalk still as his nerves all fired at once, he fought against the urge to fight his way out of the crowd and run as far as he could as fast as his wounded leg would carry him. Classes themselves were alright, it was getting to them that was the problem. So many people, all crowded around him, pushing, shoving, bumping and every time he reached a stairwell he had the worst vertigo he'd ever had making him feel like he was going to fall again.

Draco and Viktor did what they could, escorting him around the castle like some fairy princess. It was a bit annoying to be coddled, but he knew without their support he would never make it from class to class on his own. He only attended two classes that Draco did not, and unfortunately this was a day where he had Care of Magical Creatures and Draco had Runes. Viktor usually took him to this class as it was outside the castle and he could simply say he was walking to the ship or back to the library with his new friend. Everyone knew the two famous wizards had struck up a friendship, so no one looked too deeply at their excuse.

Today Viktor's headmaster had summoned him for an urgent meeting, he hadn't been able to get out of it long enough to walk with Harry. For the first time since Severus had picked him up at the little hut on the rock at sea, Harry was alone in a crowd with no potion in his system to help him cope. It was not going well by the way his teeth were clenched and his knuckles were white, the only thing keeping him from bolting was the knowledge if he did something that drastic it would just draw even more attention to him and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

Harry spent the first twenty minutes of the class just trying to calm his racing heart, the side effect of taking potions for all these years was he wasn't as efficient at dealing with the panic attacks as he used to be when he got them every day. Hagrid, the large but mostly friendly professor, didn't seem to notice his discontent. Though Harry did give the man a break, having to corral several large, creepy, insect type creatures that could sting you with one end and burn you with the other constituted having your hands full even for the monster loving professor.

Viktor made it back to Harry before he had to face the walk alone again. The older Champion sent Harry a significant look telling him there was something important he would need to know. When Harry saw that he steered them towards the Library as it had rapidly become their favorite out of the way spot. No one noticed the oddity of a pair sitting in silence in the library, where if they used the sound deadening wards in any other situation the oddity would be picked up on.

"The first task is Dragons." Viktor said bluntly as soon as the ward was in place, successfully cast by Harry this time under Viktor's watchful gaze.

Harry felt all the blood drain out of his face. "I'm dead. There is no doubt about it whoever is out to get me will succeed. There is no way I can face a dragon, I can barely walk down the stairs anymore without freaking out!" He protested heatedly, feeling no need to hide his panic under false bravado when it was just him and Viktor.

Viktor didn't know what to do, he wanted to hug him, but the ward blocked sound not sight, an a hug out of nowhere would definitely raise some eyebrows, instead he spoke fiercely and straight to the point. "Harry, we will get you through this. You are not going to die. We just need a plan."

"What plan could we possibly have? I can't even walk normally without pain potions, how do you expect me to fight a dragon like this?" Harry seemed on the verge of tears, and the Bulgarians urge to comfort him and damn the consequences was rising.

Viktor thought on it a minute before a smile crossed his face, "Harry do you know how to fly?" He asked simply.

"Yeah I can, but how does that help? We will only have our wands... Oh I get it." Harry was honestly confused until it hit him what Viktor meant, a summoning charm.

"Would you like to fly a bit together? You are built like a seeker, I bet you could be very good at it, and that will help you with the Dragon. After all we are not supposed to kill it, all dragons are endangered its illegal to kill them, Karkaroff thinks it has something to do with eggs. All the dragons are nesting mothers." Viktor offered and explained.

Harry smiled up at him, "I think I would like that a lot. Though I'm worried about coming against a mother dragon, a dragon by itself is dangerous, but one protecting her nest is going to be vicious."

"I'll go fetch my broom then, as for you, do you want me to walk you to your dorm or are the halls clear enough by now?" Viktor asked concerned that the few minutes since the last class was not enough to ensure Harry wouldn't be overcome again.

Harry went pale at the thought of getting trapped, "Could you go at least as far as the Entrance Hall? The dungeons should only have Slytherins in them now and I'm more comfortable with them. I should be alright from there." The stairs leading down to the Potions classroom and the Slytherin dorms was off the Entrance hall, and Viktor had to go that way anyway to get to the ship, Harry didn't feel quite so sheepish about asking under those conditions.

"Of course I can, I have to go there anyway, you know that," Viktor sometimes wondered just how deep this disorder went, it wasn't going out of his way to help, and the fear Harry sometimes still showed him hurt Viktor a bit. He hoped Harry would get over more of that as the year wore on, he was growing quite attached to the serious young wizard.

They never made it to the Entrance hall, as on the floor above it they encountered a scene that Harry couldn't just walk away from.

Three what looked to be sixth or seventh years had a smaller student trapped between them, dangling something in their hands just out of the younger student's reach. Harry heard the young girl call out in a slightly familiar voice, "Give that back! Take anything else you want, just give it back!"

It clicked who it was, "Viktor its the girl who found me, Luna, we can't just leave her." Viktor nodded in agreement before the two of them took the last few steps to where the older girls had Luna cornered.

"What is going on here?" Viktors gruff voice was a far greater than Harry's soft one, he was glad the Bulgarian had spoken first.

The older girls had stars in their eyes at being spoken to by Viktor Krum, while Luna was still trying to get whatever object was being held out of her grasp, by the looks of her she was on the edge of tears. "There is nothing wrong here, we were just playing with our housemate, she dropped her earring." The leader of the pack spoke, hearing the disapproval in his voice through the thick accent.

"That isn't a very good game, give her back her earring, and I might just forget to mention it to Flitwik." Harry threatened, having no intention of telling the Ravenclaw head of house, oh no, this called for going to Severus. Harry's mentor hated bullies of any kind.

The girl's seemed to consider it for a second, but realizing that Harry wasn't kidding, and that taunting Luna wasn't worth the detention they would likely get, they dropped the earring and left on to other torments.

"Are you alright Luna?" Harry asked, kneeling next to her as she checked on the dropped earring, Harry noticed it was one of the radish ones. "They didn't hurt you did they?"

Luna didn't reply until she was sure the piece of jewelry was still intact, "I'm fine, they never hurt me just tease, but these are different. Special."

Harry didn't know Luna well, thus didn't realize that she had dropped out of her normal barely lucid persona. The shock and upset of the situation pulling her out of her comfort zone, making her vulnerable. It was lucky Harry and Viktor had found her, or she could have been in a lot worse trouble.

Viktor wasn't subjected to Harry's shyness, thus he didn't have a problem asking, "What is so special about those earrings? You were outnumbered and alone, you could have been hurt doing it that way instead of telling a professor about it."

Luna really did start crying a bit then, she opened her mouth to reply, but it was like the words stuck. Harry noticed the problems, nudged her shoulder a bit, not hard enough to panic her if she had his problems, but it got her attention. "You can tell us, we won't hurt you, and you found me when I needed help very badly. I owe you, I won't betray your trust."

Luna took a deep breath before answering, "My mother made them for me when I was little, she had trouble getting me to eat new things, so whenever I gave in and tried a different food she would make me something small like this to reward me. This was the last one I got from her before she died." Answering the question seemed to make Luna retreat from the present a bit as her eyes unfocused. "Thank you for helping me, I had better get back to the dorms now." Her dreamy tone of voice a bit of a shock after what was obviously an emotional answer.

Harry knew a coping mechanism when he saw one. "Are you sure you are going to be alright?"

"I'll be fine," She replied, sounding distracted as she picked herself up and trudged up the stairs, not giving either wizard a chance to speak further.

Viktor and Harry shared a look. "I think she needs a little help, she must be lonely if all her housemates pick on her like that. I hope she wont mind talking more after she told us that." the younger of the pair broke the silence first.

"I agree, and because she helped you I wouldn't mind helping her too. I don't think she would mind talking to us again, it isn't easy to tell your secrets like that, but she did anyway. If that treatment is normal for her she may want someone that will let her talk." Viktor didn't see anything wrong with giving the lonely Ravenclaw someone to talk to, and maybe having someone else around Harry during this time will help him overcome his fear. Viktor would try anything if he thought it could help Harry, including taking in a strange young girl with a penchant for vegetable themed jewelry.


	25. Butterflies

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

**Butterflies**

Harry loved every second he was up in the air. The feel of the wind, the racing of his heart, the laughter spilling from him, it was like he was dancing in the sky. Viktor sat back on his own broom a small smile breaking his normally stern features, watching Harry fly was nothing but pure pleasure. That boy belonged in the air, just as much as Viktor himself did.

No wonder Harry's trademark was a lightning bolt, it was more than just an old scar that made the connection. He was fast, and smooth, never staying in the same place for longer than a moment. It was poetry in motion.

Even now the day before the task was set, Harry still flew freely, the fear over facing a dragon couldn't weigh him down. He looked over at Viktor during one of his loops around the Quidditch pitch, and caught the most unusual sight. Viktor was smiling, small as it was, it was still a smile. Viktor wasn't a cold person like the Malfoys were, his features were simply strong, and he was often under a lot of stress due to his fame, the Tournament, and his school work. With everything piled on his shoulders it wasn't surprising that he didn't smile often.

Though for the same reasons, Harry could hide some of the more telling symptoms of his disorder by playing it off as stress once he got the panic settled back down.

The smile on Viktor's face made Harry's stomach do flip flops, that was a new thing for him. Out of all the crazy situations, and just plain stupid stunts, nothing had ever made him feel quite the same before. It wasn't painful or unpleasant though, it made him feel almost giddy.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" Harry asked, pulling his broom up beside the softly smiling wizard.

Viktor nodded shortly before replying, "Yes, I know what I am going to do, and I will just have to trust that I have practiced enough. I volunteered for this though, I should be asking you that question. Are you ready to handle this?"

Harry thought about his reply for a few moment before speaking, "You know every once and awhile I get really worried, and frustrated, not knowing if I am going to make it. When I get like that I try to remember something Severus once told me when I was younger. Basically what he said was since I have been fighting fear my whole life, that if for just one second I can push it out of the way, I will be stronger than someone who has never dealt with fear like I have. I didn't understand him then, but I do now. When I think about the dragon I get terrified, I won't lie, but I have never had a panic attack thinking about it. I have daily practice dealing with controlling fear, that to me, is worse than facing a dragon. So yes, I think I'm ready. You suggesting I fly my way through the challenge probably saved my life, you have no idea how much I appreciate everything you are doing for me." He added on the last part, lowering his head, not being able to meet Viktor's eyes. Even Harry didn't know what the older boy would see in them if he looked.

Viktor couldn't help himself, putting a finger under Harry's chin he gently raised Harry's head back up. He had been expecting a flinch, or at least tensing, instead he got a pink blush and a pair of eyes that were looking anywhere except at him. Not wanting to push Harry into overreacting when they were still floating lazily in the air, he simply said, "I understand Harry, maybe not as well as you do, but I think I get it. Oh, and Harry? You don't have to thank me, I did it because I wanted to and because it was the right thing to do."

With that Viktor dropped his hand and took off on his broom, shouting an invitation behind him, "Race you around the pitch!"

It took Harry a second to get his fuzzy brain to work again, but when he did he flashed a grin of his own, shouting back, "You're on!" Before flattening himself against the broom Sirius had bought him soon after their reunion, to make up for all the lost Christmas and Birthday presents he claimed, and tore off after Viktor.

XxxxxxX

A few hours later Severus was working on a potion in his lab, a tweak to the Wolfsbane that may allow for a smaller dose to be effective and since the taste was horrendous the easier he could make it to take the more werewolves may be convinced to try it, when he heard the first layer of wards trip around his lab. He had two, the first was several feet down the hall to give enough warning to get any volatile potions under a stasis spell, and the second was to inform him when the visitor actually reached his door to his workroom. Better to play it safe and have two wards than to miss a warning and get seriously harmed.

He wasn't surprised when the second ward went off, and Harry entered the lab, knocking lightly as he walked in despite knowing about the wards in place.

"Hey, Severus are you busy? I'd like to talk to you a bit, if you are not working on something too advanced maybe I can help you to make up for the interruption?" Harry knew even though there was a potion bubbling away, it didn't mean Severus was very busy, he could just be bored and passing the time the best way he knew how.

"Go ahead and come in, I'm working on Wolfsbane right now, a little advanced for you to do much in the brewing, but I could use another set of hands to get the ingredients prepared." Severus allowed. It wasn't just to make Harry happy, maybe it was because the boy lived with him, but Harry was very good at potions. Getting the ingredients ready to add shouldn't be too much of a challenge even if he wasn't quite ready to deal with the intricate brewing process of Wolfsbane.

Harry did as he was told, washing his hands at the utility sink before going over to the workstation, Severus would have his hide if Harry even went near those ingredients after being outside all day without washing up. Severus slid a packet of what looked like dried flowers towards him, along with a clean mortar and pestle, "Alright I need four petals from those flowers ground into a fine, even, powder, with absolutely no clumps I need full control over the amount I add with each stir." Severus explained, expanding on the instructions to include a small lesson in them, he was still Harry's professor after all.

After Harry set to work, and Severus removed the stasis spell from the cauldron, he prompted Harry, "What did you want to talk to me about?"

Harry slowed with the pestle, taking his time to respond. "How do you tell if someone likes you as more than a friend?"

Severus stifled a groan, he knew this conversation was coming, he could admit to himself though that he had hoped it would be another year or two. "There isn't an easy answer to that, everyone acts differently when they meet someone they like. Why are you asking? Is someone interested in you?" Severus had spent a lot of time getting Harry to open up and trust him, he wasn't going to avoid the topic just because it made himself a little uncomfortable.

"Well, maybe, but that's what I'm trying to figure out. Gah! It's so complicated. I think they are interested, but I can't tell if that is because they are interested or because I want them to be." Harry admitted, concentrating heavily on the flower petals he was crushing.

Ah, so Severus' suspicions had been right, Harry had his first crush, "I can't promise you it's not because you want them to be, but I will say this, you won't know how they feel unless you talk to them about it." Severus was sure he would always regret waiting too long to tell Lily he loved her, but he was trying to do right by her son.

Instead of blushing Harry paled, "I don't know about that. What if I'm wrong, I might lose a good friend, one of my only sources of support. What would I do then?"

Now Severus was even more sure he knew who it was, "Harry, sometimes to get something really good, you have to take a chance. Could things go badly? Yes, they could. Those things happen, and people pick themselves, dust themselves off, and try again. It may take awhile but you can move on. You have to answer a question in your head, just one, and if you answer honestly you will know what you need to do that is best. Care to guess what that question is?" Severus wanted to see how close Harry got to understanding his point.

Pushing the now finely crushed petals away from him, Harry cautiously responded, "Will they make me happy?"

"You are close, very close, with that one," Severus complimented, "But Harry, that question only applies after you ask yourself this one. As you can't know if they will make you happy until after they have given you some kind of answer. The question you need to ask yourself is this, do you care enough about them to make risking your friendship worth it? Until you feel more for them in this new way than you do as friends, wait. If, however, its the other way around, than go for it. You may never know if they felt the same way if you don't."

Harry rolled the thoughts around in his head, watching as Severus added the next ingredient to the cauldron, the Professor glad he had made Wolfsbane so often even with the tweaks he could hold a conversation while brewing it. "I may need a little while to think before that all makes sense, but I believe I got most of it. Now what's next?" Harry hadn't been completely oblivious to his mentor's unease at the subject, but he wanted logical advice, not fairy tales. Severus had given him exactly what he needed.

Severus pushed two funny shaped plants towards Harry that kind of looked like red ginger, "I need these roots sliced finely, about four millimeters wide per slice, they need to dissolve quickly," He explained. Before his student could get too involved with the knife, Severus couldn't resist asking, "The person you are talking about, it wouldn't happen to be Viktor Krum would it?"

Harry's bright red blush was all the answer Severus needed.


	26. Keep Your Head Up

**Break Me, Shake Me**

**DaggersBloodPain**

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

**Keep Your Head Up**

Dragons. They were going to have to face a full grown, fire breathing, mother dragon. Yes, Harry knew it was coming, still on the morning of the First task, all he could see was glittering scales, all he could smell was burned hair and skin, and all he could think about was giant talons and teeth ripping into his skin. At least this morning he wasn't the only one looking pale with worry. He could see Fleur surrounded by her housemates, being encouraged to eat, and looked to muttering spells under her breath. Viktor was in his usual seat across from him, and he showed his nerves by being even more silent than usual, doing nothing more than sharing an understanding nod with the panicking Boy Who Lived.

At least he got to walk next to Viktor while heading towards the Champion tent. He felt a little more confident with the solid mass of the Bulgarian next to him, a sense of safety he wasn't used to feeling from people beyond his small group of family he had found in Severus, Adam, and Draco.

He tuned out the instructions from Bagman, he was not in the mood to deal with the lackey. He probably should have been listening, but couldn't bring himself to care over top of his fear. He only managed to pull his thoughts together when the Ministry wizard extended a silk bag towards Fleur.

Inside the bag was the type of dragon, and a little number around its neck showed which order they would go in. Fleur first, Harry last, and he had another moment of pure panic when he drew out the miniature Hungarian Horntail.

When Fleur had left Harry and Viktor alone to face her dragon, Harry was shocked to feel strong arms surround him immediately, but relaxed into the hold when he realized the muscles in Viktor's arms and shoulders were just as tense as his own. "It's really happening isn't it?" Harry couldn't stop himself from mumbling against the cloth covered shoulder he pressed his face against.

"Yes, but it will be over soon, one way or another," Viktor replied, doing his best to calm down the younger wizard.

"Don't say it like that, I know things might not end well, but I don't want to think about it." Harry objected.

Viktor pulled away slightly to look Harry in the eye, "Could you really stop thinking about it if I hadn't said anything? It wont do any good to avoid it, but admitting it and dealing with the possibility can help manage the fear."

"How do you know what to say?" Harry didn't want to talk about what might happen, even if Viktor was right and it was all he could think about.

Viktor laughed slightly, his chest rumbling with the sound, "I'm only saying what I have been telling myself for the past few days. Don't think you're the only one who is scared, I just knew what I was getting into when I entered my name, you didn't have a choice."

He wasn't sure how to answer that, instead Harry asked, "How do you deal with it? The fear? I feel like all I ever do is feel afraid, but I have no idea how others deal when they are scared."

"Honestly? I try to forget everything but the reason why I am doing it in the first place. Whenever I start to think too heavily on the dragon, I remember how much I want to show I really am a good wizard, and not just a Quidditch player." Viktor attempted to answer, but having trouble finding the right words to explain himself. He was good at English most of the time, but these weren't words that came up in interviews much.

"I don't think that would work for me," Harry replied, "I don't have a reason to do this beyond having to fulfill a contract I didn't make in the first place."

"I think you're wrong, you do have something to focus on. Controlling your fear, that is your goal, and what you should try to do." The star athlete tried to get Harry to see what he could, but knew it would take some time to build up Harry's confidence.

Harry didn't have time to respond before their was a loud shout from the arena, and Fleur's turn was over. Knowing they only had a few moments before Viktor would be called, Harry couldn't stop himself. Taking advantage of the fact Viktor had never pulled completely out of the hug, he leaned up and kissed his cheek softly, "Stay safe out there."

He had just enough time to see the surprised smile on Viktor's face before the older boy had to leave when his name was called. He at least had something to think about now rather than what it would feel like to be roasted alive by a dragon. He had smiled, not pushed him away, or yelled at him. Harry felt that was a good sign. He had also made a good point right before Harry's bold move, he did have something to focus on, not the fear itself but controlling it. If he could just focus on pushing all his fears to the side, he might not be as nervous about the dragon, and the less nervous he was the better off he would be in the task.

When he heard the groan of the watching crowd, he felt his heart clench. There had been shouts and gasps during Fleur's performance that the two boys had ignored in favor of talking, but being alone he could only listen and worry about the man he was falling in love with. His worry for Viktor was lessening his fear without him even noticing, and when his name was called, all he could think about was getting this over with so he could check on him.

Of course once he was in the arena facing the towering reptile, his calmness went running quickly in the other direction. He gripped his wand in a suddenly sweaty palm and summoned his broom, just like they had been practicing since Viktor had come up with the plan of Harry flying his way through the task. A strange thing happened when he got in the air. Instead of the dragon, he was flying with Viktor again, over the grounds and the pitch, he felt his heart swell and the butterflies attacked his stomach again.

Thinking only of him, their flying, the short kiss, and his budding feelings; he swooped and swirled through the air. Tempting the dragon to fly and leave the golden egg open for him to snatch. He was almost there, when the spiked tail of the defending mother caught him in the shoulder, ripping his robes, and biting deeply into his skin and muscle.

Fighting through the pain he scooped up the egg in his good arm, flying off to let the dragon handlers come forward and calm her down with repeated spells.

He wasn't sure where to go from there, until he saw Adam waiting for him at the edge of the arena, waving him down. His feet were barely on the ground when the Professor who helped look after him all these years pulled him into a hug. "You scared me half to death again", He complained, before releasing Harry, looking at the injury. "Come with me, Madame Pomfrey has a tent sent up for healing, I'll take you there, and we can come back for your scores."

Harry just nodded, and adjusted the egg in his arms, following the Astronomy Professor docilely feeling a little woozy from the blood loss and the roller coaster of emotions. They weren't quite to the medical tent when Viktor found them, "I was worried about you," Harry told him immediately after seeing him.

Viktor shook his head, and motioned at his injured shoulder, "I wasn't hurt, a few of the real eggs got damaged though, I'm sorry about that. You are the one who got hurt, don't scare me like that, I'm only glad it wasn't worse." They had kept walking after he joined them, so they were now at the tent, Pomfrey ushering him inside.

She didn't bother to try sending the men away, one look at their faces was enough to realize they weren't going anywhere. "You are going to have to remove your robes Mr. Potter so I can heal you."

He complied without complaint, glad that the scars he had carried from his childhood of bullying by his cousin had faded in the years since he had been living with Severus and Adam. "Other than the smashed eggs, how did your turn go?" He asked Viktor to distract himself from the Medi-Witch's prodding.

"He was really good, not many can affect a dragon with a single spell, even if it did cause a few problems, it was still impressive magic," Adam complimented before Viktor could answer for himself.

"Thank you Professor," He answered gratefully, "I really am sorry about the eggs though, dragons are so rare. I wonder why the handlers even allowed the real eggs to be here."

"Entertainment." Adam responded with derision, Poppy nodding along with him. "A full gown dragon on its own wouldn't cause the danger they needed, a nesting mother is the most vicious thing you will ever come across. There is a reason the death toll for the Tournament is so high, this year's challenges are considered tame when compared to past years. Yet you are still all in danger."

"I think there are better ways to promote unity," Harry complained, as Pomfrey finished up healing his wound.

"Of course there are," Adam agreed. "But showmanship and grandstanding will always be a part of politics, and unfortunately this tournament is all about politics. Now we need to go get your scores, Viktor are you staying with us?" He figured it was only polite to ask, considering he was pretty sure what the answer would be.

"Yes, I'm not leaving him yet," Viktor responded predictably, and Adam noticed the slight blush cross Harry's cheeks, hmm something had happened between the boys.

Harry was paying more attention to Viktor's shoulder brushing against the arm that wasn't hurt than to his scores, that was until Viktor leaned closer to be heard over the cheering crowd, "We're tied."

"Is that going to bother you?" Harry was worried that might harm whatever was managing to grow between them.

A shake of his head, "No, is it going to bother you?"

"Of course not." Harry replied, as Fleur rejoined them, and the final instructions were given. The eggs were a clue to the next task, if they worked it out they would be able to prepare in advance.

The crowd almost pulled them apart before Viktor caught him up again, "Harry I would like to talk about what happened in the tent earlier but this isn't a good place. I'll find you later all right?"

"I'll look forward to it," Harry admitted, the butterflies were back with a vengeance, and he felt a smile spread on his face that had nothing to do with the task and everything to do with Viktor. They were separated soon after that, Viktor being herded towards the Durmstrang ship by his school mates for a celebration, much as Harry was pulled towards the Slytherin common room to the part held in his honor.

One task down, two to go, and he had gotten the courage to take the next step with Viktor. It had been an interesting day, but he couldn't wait to see him again and know what was really going on with the older wizard.


End file.
